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posted on Thursday, May 19, 2011 @ 5/19/2011 12:09:00 AM | back to the top.


You'll be my girl forever, that is if you are a believer
My love for you will never end, I yearn to be more than just a friend
Someday I'll see you when I turn,
I'm not over you yet, that's what I'll learn

I'll try to convince myself that I AM over you,
Oh how I wished you loved me too
Back to the friendly past, where hopefully it will last
At least longer then before, but then again what more can I ask

Yes, it was the worse day of my life,
Wishing if would last till you were my beloved wife
You'd be part of a dream which would come true,
Instead now it's just become a memory of you

I still believe in the same destiny,
That you and I were meant to be
My witnesses are the stars from above,
In our next lives again we will love

posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 5/18/2011 01:34:00 AM | back to the top.
I think I'm going crazy...I can't stop thinking about you for even a sec....I keep looking at my phone to see if I missed any of your calls or text messages. I keep logging into the pokerist to check if you're online just so I could talk to you. I haven't heard much from you all day and it feels like something is piercing my heart. I almost went into hyper ventilation when I heard you had to tell me something and that you had to clear your mind first before saying anything to me. I want to see you so badly...I feel like a lost soul wandering aimlessly...lost of any sense of direction...lost in everything.....I'm having insomnia...been waking up every 2 or 3 hours because of weird dreams...just this afternoon I had a dream that I wish would never come true...I had a dream that you sent me an sms...with just these words " Do you know you are the sweetest guy ever to me...I'm so grateful to you for showing me the love and concern when no one else would..."
I woke up in tears....so scared that it was real...I don't want it to happen. My heart keeps thumping so rapidly. I miss you so much....a day without seeing you is a torture. I wouldn't have gone to Zouk had it not been for your sms "hmmmm....I think I most probably will head down later as well." I wanted to see you so badly....it's not an excuse to club...it's not a reason either....I just pure heartedly wanted to see you that badly. Please please please....don't tell me that you're leaving me

posted on Saturday, May 14, 2011 @ 5/14/2011 09:11:00 PM | back to the top.


How I long to hear your sweet voice
The soft sexy way in which you speak to me
To have shivers run through my body
Just the way that I know they would

How I long to feel your heart beating
Feel it beating when I lay my head down to it
Knowing that it beats so fast and strong
Just knowing it does because of me

How I long to smell your breath
The swirl of your breath as your lips touch mine
Your breathing labored and sweet and the essence
Of your longing filling my mine with wanting you

How I long for your warm soft touch
The touch I have longed for in my dreams
Of fingertips slowly stroking my body
Touches that I will be screaming for more of

How I long for the taste of you
Just once, just so I can survive
This life, knowing what it was like
Just once ....just once

posted on Saturday, April 30, 2011 @ 4/30/2011 11:19:00 AM | back to the top.


My mind's running amok
My heart's in a frenzy
I'm losing control

I made a mistake
I can't solve it
A problem that's driving me insane

Will you text me like you usually do?
Will you meet me just like before?
I'm so scared it'll all change

I'm shivering with fear
I'm going blank
I'm thinking of nothing but you

You say it's an infatuation
You say it's a phase
I say it's one crazy love

I didn't mean to be so insane
I don't want to be treated with disdain
I just want you

I know I've got nothing to offer
I know I'll bring you just trouble
But then I know I'll always love you

Just to hold your hand or walk arm in arm
Just to hold you tight and tuck you in to bed
It's all just a wish of mine




posted on Tuesday, April 26, 2011 @ 4/26/2011 12:49:00 AM | back to the top.
Sitting under the darkened sky
I'm harboring thoughts so sly
As you lay asleep on my lap
My heartbeat sounds like a hundred claps

As the sweet aroma from your perfume passes through
Second by second my fondness for you grew
Sleeping so innocent like a baby's smile
I wish this would last more than just a while

posted on Saturday, April 23, 2011 @ 4/23/2011 08:19:00 PM | back to the top.



Bound to be hopeless
Without reason, choice, or will
It's something that merely happens
I wish I could rid myself of this curse
Yet again..it's somewhat fun to always be entranced
It will work out, even if I'm the last to let go

posted on @ 4/23/2011 06:48:00 AM | back to the top.



"Longing.."

Your essence lingers all around me, covering every inch of my soul,
Yet I remain patient with kind thoughts, and an imagination I can't control
My mind is but a playground for ideas, with your face as my inspiration

Entranced by your heart, it shocks me like straight electrification
A simple “I Love You” could do it but there's just too many complications
These emotions which are inevitable, I'm just waiting for you to notice

Your life's an unsolved jigsaw with a hundred missing pieces
Your tears can flow, and travel a thousand seas,
But I'll always be right here, for you to depend on me..

Inspired by AJW

posted on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 @ 4/12/2011 01:30:00 AM | back to the top.
My heart's beating faster than usual,
Even though it's just been a week or so I've got no idea why it feels like it's been a year or more.
I don't know if I'm excited or nervous..maybe both..or maybe it's just an extreme version of happiness.
I know how I feel but it's just impossible, I'm afraid it'll all just end so I'm contented with the way things are now,
Eagerly anticipating that sweet smile of yours..
Just waiting and waiting..

posted on Saturday, April 02, 2011 @ 4/02/2011 06:50:00 PM | back to the top.
What's on my mind now??

A misty black forest.



Sirens



An imprisoned angel



Apocalypse


posted on @ 4/02/2011 05:56:00 PM | back to the top.



wondered if ever the things that we see
were but an imagination of our reality
to last for an infinity not bound by time
living in loops is this world of mine

a world bound by nothing, no laws of gravity nor friction
a world led by our mind's own jurisdiction
cause every moment spent with her is so precious
it needs neither reality or time's consensus

posted on Friday, October 15, 2010 @ 10/15/2010 08:05:00 PM | back to the top.
A bundle love chucked aside
dumped with dirt, lies, and deceit
torn, broke, and burned

Betrayal was just the beginning
broke me open pulled my heart out
took it and ripped it apart

Of the things I saw and heard
nothing...nothing I believed
was trusting you not right?

What you told me everyday
"I miss you...I love you..."
I fell for your little act

I didn't do anything bad
yet I'm the one going through hell
the biggest joke pulled on me...

I feel broken
but where's that broken heart?
burned and dumped with dirt for no one to see

I will love you till the end
but we will never be the same
...no, not ever at all

to you...

...it was just a game

posted on Thursday, October 07, 2010 @ 10/07/2010 10:58:00 PM | back to the top.
Another attempt at tilt-shift...seems like I'm getting a bit better...


posted on Monday, October 04, 2010 @ 10/04/2010 10:00:00 PM | back to the top.
In the beginning, it was only my sleeve that got wet. I thought I'd just wait for the sleeve to dry, stood up a while and then walked away. But after a bigger and stronger wind with heavier rain pouring down, it stopped me from moving forward. If I get blocked by this unavoidable rain..I would lose the path that I have to walk, even though I want to run far away, I keep holding back. If only the skies would clear up much faster, then I'd be able to walk away from this storm.

posted on @ 10/04/2010 01:18:00 AM | back to the top.
My shot at tilt-shift photography again, not exactly a wonderful photograph to work with but I tried.




In the midst of the night
Staring into the dark sky
A full moon shines
It's my only source of light
Emitting a spiritual beauty
I feel its enchanting glory
A howl I let go
Through the realms it echoes
Lonely and sad I seem
A longing for someone
A love that has no end...

posted on Sunday, October 03, 2010 @ 10/03/2010 05:48:00 PM | back to the top.



posted on Saturday, October 02, 2010 @ 10/02/2010 12:25:00 AM | back to the top.
Whispering winds talk to me at night
Cruel temptations awaken the satan in me
Bliss, a feeling long lost, long forgotten
Envy me, hate me, curse me

Sitting through the night in a lost garden of eden
Looking at withered fallen petals
I stumble upon a lone blooming flower
Like the rising sun, it illuminates the dark

True despair transformed to new born hope
A cardinal angel spreads it's wings around me
Warmth and belief embezzles me from within
The beauty of life stiffens me up

posted on Sunday, June 14, 2009 @ 6/14/2009 06:23:00 PM | back to the top.
You Judas incarnate
It is people like you I hate
Scheming and cheating
You deserve a fucking beating

You used me like a tool
And treated me like a money pool
If not for me where would you be?
If not for me you'd just be a pussy

And of all the things that you could have said
Tell me what was in your head?
You're just a fucking prick
And you don't deserve Eunice or any other chick

A close friend, my doubles partner
It's because of these ties that triggered my anger
Can't believe you did this to me
I'm disappointed, so go fuck yourself Fuji

posted on Monday, June 01, 2009 @ 6/01/2009 10:55:00 PM | back to the top.
I've watched the film "You've got mail" numerous times, and I've just finished watching it again. And I will admit that it's one of those films that just have such a lovely ending that makes your heart feel so warm, and you just want to embrace that warmth and celebrate it with a few tear drops. It makes me feel that love...has nothing to it at all, there's no math involved, nor is there any periodic table like science in it. It's the easiest emotion next to happiness to express, and yet why is it still so difficult to love? Because there is fear, the fear of losing that loved one, the fear of being cheated by that very loved one, the fear of being hurt by or EVEN for the loved one. Which is why we hate ourselves for feeling that fear, and when we start hating ourselves, we begin to suffer. In the film "You've got mail", it just goes to show how unpredictable love can be, how yet how easy it is to fall in love. You don't need to see the person, you don't need to hear the person's voice, all there is to it is the link and the bond built between the two parties. You need to know how each other feels all the time, and you have to listen to each other. Yea you may be at loggerheads with one another at times, but all that needs to be done to resolve that are a few simple words, and just listen...to yourself and the other party. I believe that I've wrote something similar to this few years back or even few months...I don't know. But one thing is for sure, I've always found it easier to love than to hate. And that I love Meg Ryan...hahahahaha. Goodnight blog.

posted on Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 5/08/2009 03:56:00 AM | back to the top.
It's 3.42am in the morning right now, and I still can't get to sleep. I watched 19 episodes of Skip Beat! in just one night. While watching it occurred to me how sad and pathetic my love life has been. Truth is...I don't really think I've loved any of the girls I've been with at all. Yea I did treat them nice and all, and the thing is that I've never gotten angry with any them AT all nor even got into a heated argument. I just simply believed that conflict was unnecessary and it would kill my brain-cells to go through the whole pre and post-argument process. I've always wanted them to be happy, in which I've realised that all my relationships revolved around the certain "her" and not "us". Then came these two lines from Skip Beat! which pierced me.."I would never be that someone who's special to you" and "You will never have a place in your heart for me". Coincidently, both my ex-girlfriends said these lines when they broke up with me. Of course there were more lines than just those two. One other line which another girl said to me that I remember was "You're here with me, but you're always somewhere else"..which is true..I've always just been there, physically, but my mind and heart were always somewhere else. I've recently just been dumped by another girl, who didn't break up with me and went to get engaged to another guy. I never thought such scenarios would ever happen in reality unless it was from a scene out from "Days of Our Lives". I still don't know how badly affected I am by this cause I still seem pretty normal, and I don't remember it at all until I start to feel lost and lonely. The only girl I think I may have had real feelings for was Elizabeth, but then again...I got over her in about a week or so. I've absolutely no clue now what love is or feels like, it may even be the clichéd description which came from Skip Beat! but I hope I that one day when it hits me, I'll realise it.

The time now is 4.28am. I've got to wake up in 4.5 hours time for work. I must be nuts to be blogging about such redundant and immature thoughts in the wee hours of the morning, but I couldn't help it. Well...signing out

posted on Tuesday, April 14, 2009 @ 4/14/2009 03:44:00 PM | back to the top.
I saw a Messiah standing in Heaven
Standing before me with no words
Nothing but "Hope"
Yet I heard of your glory

You saved our world from the fallen angels
When we lost dread, a Demon was laughing
But now you are showing us wonder
Giving your love

Let me walk with you when I'm lost in the wild
I know you always lead me to another Eden
Let me bless your name, O Lord, O Lord!
Your words will never fade away

Since we believe you're the light on Earth
With awe, down on my knees again
I've got to know you're the one
The only one who reveals the world

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power

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