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A human with a severe lack of common sense, and powerfully apathetic towards his deficiency; To completely and utterly
screw something up so badly that it cannot be repaired. The result of sending in an idiot to deal with a burched situation;
a rick is another name for a short fat hairy apeman that nobody likes.
posted on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 @ 10/22/2008 07:57:00 PM | back to the top.
Nothing much to blog about today actually just that I felt like blogging, no idea why. Almost late for work today, bloody hand phone alarm of mine couldn't wake me up. Work was boring as hell...well...what's new huh. Except today I totally had N.O.T.H.I.N.G to do. Pathetic, and I moved seat again so now I'm sitting next to the Filipino girl in my office. Damn funny hearing her talk on the phone, I can't help it..I'm an ass..especially when it comes to racial things. I'm not racist, don't be mistaken it's just humorous to hear their diff accents. I was waiting for her to say those "infamous" words that Filipinos cannot pronounce properly...no I mean those words they SAY AWKWARDLY...hahaha..and it came..word after word after word until the end of the day I heard the best one. You know when maids say they need to 'Send Back' money...their 'Send Back' actually sounds like 'San Bak' as in Mama San the San and Bak Ku Teh the Bak. So yeah...Sorry sir, I think you need to 'San Bak' the cheque to us for 'invest-igation!' yes...the 'invest' was low pitch followed by a hyped up 'igation!'. I laughed at my desk...bloody bastard I know...I'm sorry but I can't help it. So I was practically wasting time at the office from 4.30-6.30...I would've met Mitchell for Kuishin-Bo if not for my bloody work, had a hearty meal and go home all full and happy...NOOOOOOOO...I had to stay at work. Tonight's St James event also canceled...sigh...if not for those killjoy friends huh Mitchell. Anyway after work going back in the train...again something happened...but this time not abt someone else but myself. I have no idea why I got so tired once I boarded the train, I think maybe all the ammonia gas from those workers sweat and everything diffused and probably knocked me out...no idea. But yea I went into a deep sleep until Ang Mo Kio. I slept so soundly my head knocked into this lady's chin I think. Gosh...was she pissed off after that. Stared at me and gave me this look like I'm some alien from Mars of what..even after I apologized. But still damn embarrassing...not the first time this happened also, last time I knocked a little girl's head she almost cried. Anyway I'm home now....and there's no dinner cooked for me, so I shall see what's in the cabinet for me to whip up myself...probably some omelette and rice with kimchi soup...sounds good yea...hahaha..but the kimchi is instant packet...hahahaha. Alright...till next time again.posted on Sunday, October 19, 2008 @ 10/19/2008 06:47:00 PM | back to the top.
I'm back from KL! Gosh...MAO's house was a mess. Moss in the toilet,inside the shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes which I think were years old, toothbrush holders since my grandma was still in this world, broken pipes, broken down tv and dvd as well as air-con. The only things functioning in his house was his pens, desk, laptop and his electric cooker. This my friends is what happens when you leave a China man, who works from 9-11pm daily, alone to live in a small little rut. So my mom spent an entire night cleaning up the house for us to live properly in. Well, the new house is just about ready, we'll be getting the keys in December so hopefully he'll decide to move there instead of waiting for that old rut to collapse by itself. A lot of memories in that little old rut though so it's hard to leave. Anyway, here's the thing, the prayers for my Grandpa's death anniversary started Friday afternoon, it took place IN the old rut and lasted for like an hour only I guess? So after that I went for a haircut with my cousin to this salon. I had a professional cut my hair but it seemed like I could have done the job myself cause my hair STILL LOOKED THE SAME. Dumb ass just shredded a few strands of hair of my head and charged my cousin for it. After that we went to traditional dirty M'sian Hokkien Mee at a Dirty coffee shop with Malays speaking 'hokkien' and the Chinese speaking 'malay' and the Indians.....Nope...don't remember any there. Food was good except the Chinese tea which tasted like gutter water with tea leaves plucked from a rain tree. Went back home and slept, next day woke up and went shopping with my mom. Geez...you'd think our shopping trip would be great but no...MAO gave us a hundred bucks to spend, yes...100 bucks for BOTH of us to spend. SO my mom took the money and I had to go change my own, she went to cut her hair, I went roaming around Sungei Wang. I sure Sungei Wang is no long a safe place, well at least the outside isn't. There was this huge group of Malay kids hanging outside Maybank which looked like a MOB or something, I was just walking through them and I was fearing for my life, if I had looked up and accidentally stared at any one of them, I swear I would've died there and no one would've known. They would have probably stabbed me to death and thrown me into one of their mobs by the garbage bins. So after my mom was done with her hair, we went to The Pavillion to shop. Sounds grand huh...well it is and we were daring enough to enter Gucci and DKNY with only the few pieces of 10 Ringgit notes in our wallets...hahaha. Anyway we wanted to get our oncoming babies some clothes so we went shopping for baby wear. I swear my mom is another stingy one just like MAO, what's wrong with spending a bit more for babies to look cool. I wanted to buy my nephews this damn cool Paul Frank baby's romper but my mom kept nagging not to waste money. SO I asked her to go get her own stuff while I get my own stuff. I ended up buying these 2 GAP rompers which were sweet and 3 pairs of baby socks too. I wanted to buy them the GAP baby's hoody too but yea..I HAD to SIGN so I couldn't go over the limit.
My mom ended up at GAP as well buying 2 more striped rompers for my nephews, so GAP solved our baby problem. MAO came back with the most shocking story. His company's car had just been reported stolen the day itself, and who knew the robber was so dumb to come and park the stolen car just under my block and sit in it. He obviously robbed without using his brains and now he's in the lock up. I've got lots more to say but I guess I better end it off here, I want to start on my new DVDs I just bought..hahaha...peace out! P.S. Liz SMSed me while I was in KL! :D
posted on Wednesday, October 08, 2008 @ 10/08/2008 11:47:00 PM | back to the top.
Today..work was non-stop...well what's new? Only diff is that my boss was giving me all cases which I have NEVER done before and also which SHE has not, wow...boss using her staff as guinea pig..how great right. Anyway, met Ms.Chelsea Loo for lunch. She, Jotham and I had an "EXPENSIVE" looking lunch which I must say consisted of Abalone, Shark's Fin and Bird's Nest. We almost ordered their "Buddha Jumps Over The Wall" as well..LOL. But I must say...Jotham's abalone was damn "BIG" and I think their abalone was so "EXPENSIVE" that they only gave him 1 miserable slice...yes slice...not even piece. And Chelsea footed the bill which made it so damn embarrassing for us. So now I owe her a Ben & Jerry's treat. After that back to boring work and blah blah blah. Went to meet up with "Mandingo" and Mr.Nerd because it was Mr.Nerd's birthday and he wanted to treat us. So Jotham and I didn't hesitate to go down and meet him. Yes...assholes I know but hey..if you've got someone who's willing to treat why not huh? LOL...we actually wanted to go drinking with him, make him pay for all the drinks..get him drunk and leave him there alone while we go off home. Bastards? Yes..but he deserves it...LOL. Anyway we settled for dinner and after that FB came down to meet me, partly because I also wanted to introduce them to my man, "Mandingo". I bet he's gonna kill me for promoting him this much in my blog but yea. So for the first time they all met, hopefully everyone managed to get along. Going to club this Saturday at Zouk...Bobs, FB, and the pornstars "Mandingo and Tommy Gunn", hopefully it'll be a great occasion. Oh yes, and here's a piece of advice from someone who just came back home and had the shit of his life. Never have a caramel frappe after eating a heavy meal like tenderloin steak served rare, expect the impossible in your shit house after that. Ok, so I rushed over to meet Esther after that, and thanks to you Fuji, her shop closed..lol. He should know what I mean...thanks really for making me late...LOL...joking. Anyway, I think it was the first time since I don't know when I last met Esther but yup...you have grown a lot more prettier over the years..lol...not saying you were not pretty in Sec Sch...but yes...Ok you should get what I mean. And surprisingly, Esther happens to be in the same course as Mitchell! What a coincidence right? Gosh...S'pore is too small I guess. Alright, here's the highlight...for those who have been wondering why my dad is referred to as Mao right, here's the evidence!
Note this is no offense to the people of China...Seriously. This is just a comparison. But don't you see the resemblance? The mole on the chin, the cheeks, the eyes, the receding hairline, if only my dad didn't smile as much in the photo and was a bit more bald. Gosh...god knows if he was the reincarnation...LOL. Ok...that's all for today, I'm off to bed. Night people!
posted on Monday, October 06, 2008 @ 10/06/2008 09:37:00 PM | back to the top.
Warning!! Today's post may contain contents that could ruin your appetite, puke or even worse make you think that I'm a completely disgusting human being. But isn't that always the case with all my posts? So what the heck here goes. Today I went to this Malay stall for lunch. Food wasn't all that bad but PRICEY, I mean like $6.50 for a plate of rice with A bagadale, AN egg, A Sardine, and SOME beef and EXCLUSIVE of a drink. Yes, I'm a cheapskate I know it but it's due to my Indian roots, hey aren't my fellow Indian brothers all the same? So cut me some slack. Alright, so after eating such a heavy meal, it's obvious my bowels would have worked up by the time I got back to the office and so I went to the toilet to EASE myself. And yea, as usual...everywhere I go nowadays there seems to be weird disgusting people all around, no idea why it's happening so often lately but yea...I think there's a sudden influx of sick retards. I was in the center cubical MINDING my OWN business, when this guy on my right who was also shitting started a massive flushing frenzy, I swear he flushed the toilet like 6-7 times continuously and I think it overflowed and he had to use tissue to clean the floor. How did I know? Well I saw his hand sweeping the floor with tissue that's why. And no...he didn't finish shitting after that. After the continuous flushing he continued his business and man was it the most scariest time I've ever experienced in a toilet. Nevertheless the flushing continued as well but this time round, every moment the toilet flushed he would go "OOOOHHHHHH" like as if he was getting an orgasm from the sound of the flush. Then whenever he farted, he would go "OH YEA...THAT'S THE WAY...YOU CAN DO IT"...SHEESH...talk about weird. Gosh. I finished my crap as fast as I could even though I didn't really finish but yea...I HAD to get out.
So yea...back to the office and blah blah blah blah blah...until the walking home from Yishun MRT. I seriously think Yishun is like the pit stop for these Sparrows or whatever species of bird they are, that start flying around after 7pm and begin THEIR shitting frenzy. Today was the most unluckiest day of my entire life in Yishun, I've never gotten hit by these birds' shit before but today I did, and not just by one...a WHOLE FUCKING lot of them. So I was walking by the pavement...birds above me in the tree...and suddenly this BLOODY lion dance troupe in this lorry had to come by and scare the freaking daylights out of these birds and they started kamikaze streak except that they don't commit suicide. But this bunch of like 30 over birds suddenly flew over me and like some defensive mechanism starting dropping "cluster bombs" (For more information on cluster bombs go to this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_bomb) around. I think I got hit more than 10 times at least. Went back home full of shit. First time I've taken a shower for about 1 hour and I could guarantee you, I used every single soap and shampoo I could find and scrubbed myself clean. I even washed my hair 3 times just to be sure there's no more bird shit anywhere. I wanted to take picture of my shirt, but that would be too obscene and someone might actually puke or sue me for the pic, so yea...I didn't take any.
Alright...that's all for today's SHITTY post...hope anyone who is reading this doesn't feel SHITTY or DISGUSTED and if you do...just leave me a msg somewhere...I'll remove you from the invited list of readers. PEACE!
posted on @ 10/06/2008 12:02:00 AM | back to the top.
In this blog so far, I've never mentioned how happy I am about becoming an Unkle of 2 nephews. Yes, both my sister's are pregnant and are expecting to give birth to 2 boys early next year. Eagerly anticipating their arrival I couldn't help but spoil them even before they are born. Bought 2 shoes for them because I want my nephews to be the coolest babies in town...they have to be otherwise they wouldn't be my nephews...hahahaha. So I saw these 2 cool baby sneakers in town and didn't hesitate one moment to get them especially when it's so CHEAP.
One is a Sesame Street collaboration with New Balance which is the green one and the other is a Chinese Panda Dunk Low's that has fur around the shoe. See..these 2 babies are going to be the idols of other babies. Sad I couldn't find the Jack Parcell or Fred Perry's baby edition otherwise I would've definitely whooped them up for my unborn nephews. Wahahaha...I promised my sisters that I would make them tennis stars as well..So yea...I'll be busy as soon as these 2 boys are able to make their first footsteps. Watched "Painted Skin" today too. Damn slow moving movie with too much CG. Though I admit the storyline wasn't all that bad(much better than Babylon A.D.) but that ending sucked. Had problem reading the subtitles because I was seated right at the back and I left my specs in the office, so yea...with my pathetic understanding of the Chinese language, I tried my very best to watch the movie. Anyway this is for FB, I think we should club next Saturday instead of Friday, Dj Nervous will be playing at Phuture and I think it's time for a change from the usual Andrew Chow..hahaha...though I wouldn't mind as well but yea, there are other problems too...apparently MAO has started his occasional spot checks again and he's been calling every Friday to check where I am so yea...this Friday I've gotta be home..at LEAST till he calls...hahaha. Alright...gotta go sleep, I've got WORK tomorrow.
posted on Saturday, October 04, 2008 @ 10/04/2008 10:43:00 PM | back to the top.
Yesterday was a serious party night for me, 2 parties..OK...2 is not a lot but yea in one night it can be quite a thing. I'll talk about work first. Work was damn fun...especially when you have to call up people and hear them speak ridiculous English. I spoke with a lady called Ms.Sasa and she had no idea what I was talking to her about and neither did I. But as usual, to entertain my bored self, I intentionally dragged the conversation on with her for about 5 mins just to have a laugh at her.Me: "Hi, good afternoon Rick speaking...regarding the opening of your foreign worker's account I've made the appointment for you."
SASA: "AH..Worker? Bank? Time?"
Me: "sorry to say but it's in next year March 2009"
SASA: "Tomollow?"
Me: "No...it's next year"
SASA:"NO next year, tmr?"
Me:"Sorry the banks are fully booked...the only schedule available is for next year"
SASA:"I NO next year...Worker?"
Me:"17 workers right?"
SASA:"NO next year...Far...Worker"
SASA hung up. There were a few more lines that I talked to her but I couldn't comprehend her wonderful grammar and vocabulary so I left it out. Her voice was so funny I asked my COLLEAGUES to do follow up calls just to irritate the life out of her and laugh at her ridiculous voice. OK...I'm mean I admit...but it's all for the fun of things right? Alright then after work drinks with my colleagues, we went to this "CINA CHING CHIONG" pub called JAB 21 I think. Ok...so liquor was cheap over there...freaking 135 bucks for a bottle of Chivas and 155 bucks for a bottle of Martell and free flow of mixers...wtf. So we started of with 3 jugs of beer where we played 5-10, a typical CHING CHIONG drinking game. Massive drinking then, think we finished the 3 jugs in 15 mins...the 5 of us playing. Met Mitchell for a while just to say hi cause she was around at Boat Quay too and then I went back and started the heavy liquor, by the time I knew it I was singing my heart out with my colleagues as well. And cause Fuji asked me to be at Phelan's place by 11 and for every minute I'm late I would have to pay 1% of the grocery bill for the night's party, I had to leave early and they made me bottoms up 2 neat glasses of chivas. I swear it burned my throat when I was gulping it down. Some problems going to Phelan's place cause my bloody phone died on me. But I reached at 11.20pm. Ate teppanyaki and had 3 types of vodka's to drink from. More drinking, but I only had like 3 cups cause I didn't really like Vodka in the first place and I was too full from the food..the 42 below smelt like heaven though, best fragrance from a vodka I've ever smelt, so it was good stuff. Played Beijing Olympics on PS3 for a while, then went to Top Spin 3, and then Mahjong. HAHAHA...FUJI is still sore about losing to me I guess. Damn happy I won yesterday cause it's been fucking long since I've gambled and actually won. My biggest win of the night was the max 5 fold, which in my hand had 2 "tais" from my flower and an animal, then I pung-ed my own "wind" and the "wind" that was "blowing in the round's direction" (LOL..what an explaination, if only blogger had chinese but still then I wouldn't even be able to type anything), plus I had all the same characters and all "pung" and gamed by "HUA SANG ZI MO"...how many fold is that actually? I have no idea but the max fold we played was 5 so yea...3.20 from all of them. To FUJI...that's what you get when you tell me "when he wins then say"...I'll show you I can win...Muahahahaha. Anyway stayed over at Phelan's place and came back today around 3 plus and slept till dinner time when my sisters came over. And here I am blogging waiting for my match to start. Alright...that's all for today and as usual another poem of mine.
All through the night playing Mahjong,
Waiting for my winning tiles to come along.
Where are you my little friends,
All hiding inside till the ends.
I would've played a simpler, less complex game,
But then it would have just gotten lame.
Mahjong definitely gives you stress,
But it's a game that's just about the best.
From counting prevailing winds,
To scoring just a pung.
It makes people chagrined,
Yet a win leaves them a song.
I won money yesterday,
It's something proud I have to say.
Let's play again Mr.Fuji,
But next time we'll gamble on sweets from Sugi.
posted on Wednesday, October 01, 2008 @ 10/01/2008 09:57:00 PM | back to the top.
OK...Seriously...For being recognized as a clean and green country, we have some of the dirtiest citizens the world doesn't know about. Today, taking the bus to my godma's house...everything was pretty normal until the get off. Gosh...this middle aged woman I swear had the worst dandruff problem in S'pore I think. It looked as though S'pore had just experienced winter and she dipped her head in a pile of snow...ok maybe not that bad...I am exaggerating but it was pretty sick. But you see...there's another part to this plot just like yesterday's old man. This time I was standing behind her about to get off and she did the LUX Super Rich advertisement in the bus. Imagine slow motion...she taking off her scrunchy and that long wavy dandruff filled hair just swing into your path and all the dandruff suddenly flies into your face and mouth...that was what happened to me. As much as I tried to dodge it...I realized my reflexes were too damn slow and if I did anything more drastic it would have looked like I was being shot down in the bus..so I didn't bother. So this is what I advise S'pore public transport services to do if there is such an organization, they should hire bloody hygiene officers at each bus stop and train station to look out for these dirty disgusting people and get them out of the way. OK...enough of this. Next...went to meet Fuji and Phelan for lunch at Waraku cause the both of them had $35 worth of vouchers..cheap bastards I know but it was all well worth it for the meal though I believe the bowl used for my food was a bit over the top..it looked like one of those basins that housewives like my mom use to hand wash clothes. It was around that size...just a BIT smaller. Then we went for pool after that at cineleisure. Here's the thing..we made a gamble...every time one of us loses...$1 is given to pay for the table. Normal right...ok...next...biggest loser has to drink carbonated milk bought from the Korean nick nacks store at B1. Ok...first set(though we didn't intend to play more that 1 set)..which Fuji lost all his games and should have already accepted the dare..but he asked for 1 more set to be played. Ok..second set..again Phelan won both of us and it went to a tie break between me and him. Then to decide the loser we played a game of 9 ball. I gave him like freaking 7 free balls to play..and obviously he won and there you have it..ME the loser. So we went down to buy the drink but ended up buying the wrong one and so they bought ANOTHER drink. Here am I with it...
So I drank it and felt like shit. Immediately I felt like puking it all out..even till now I can feel it bubbling in my poor little stomach. Never drink this...even if your life depends on it..Sang Hwang Gold was the name if I'm not wrong. Oh yeah..and one last thing...Moms are the best. They look after you all your life and have your best interests at heart always. My mom is SO good at her job...in order to help me kill my bad habits she bought a breathalyzer...breath spray...and a special toothpaste for smokers. No fucking idea still how she got the breathalyzer but it still came as a shock to me. So yea...MOMs are the BEST!
I'll give no reaction
Cause it's my selfish satisfaction
While I increase daily uses
I give all the excuses
NO, I don't care what you say
I WON'T find another way
All I need's right here between my fingers
Like it or not the smell always lingers
Stare at me and frown at me
Come shake your fingers down at me
I won't give up the treasures that I hold
I won't stop now to come in from the cold
You might not understand it but I bet
I'll find my greatest lover in this cigarette..