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posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 @ 5/18/2011 01:34:00 AM | back to the top.
I think I'm going crazy...I can't stop thinking about you for even a sec....I keep looking at my phone to see if I missed any of your calls or text messages. I keep logging into the pokerist to check if you're online just so I could talk to you. I haven't heard much from you all day and it feels like something is piercing my heart. I almost went into hyper ventilation when I heard you had to tell me something and that you had to clear your mind first before saying anything to me. I want to see you so badly...I feel like a lost soul wandering aimlessly...lost of any sense of direction...lost in everything.....I'm having insomnia...been waking up every 2 or 3 hours because of weird dreams...just this afternoon I had a dream that I wish would never come true...I had a dream that you sent me an sms...with just these words " Do you know you are the sweetest guy ever to me...I'm so grateful to you for showing me the love and concern when no one else would..."
I woke up in tears....so scared that it was real...I don't want it to happen. My heart keeps thumping so rapidly. I miss you so much....a day without seeing you is a torture. I wouldn't have gone to Zouk had it not been for your sms "hmmmm....I think I most probably will head down later as well." I wanted to see you so badly....it's not an excuse to club...it's not a reason either....I just pure heartedly wanted to see you that badly. Please please please....don't tell me that you're leaving me

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