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A human with a severe lack of common sense, and powerfully apathetic towards his deficiency; To completely and utterly
screw something up so badly that it cannot be repaired. The result of sending in an idiot to deal with a burched situation;
a rick is another name for a short fat hairy apeman that nobody likes.
posted on Saturday, February 10, 2007 @ 2/10/2007 12:56:00 AM | back to the top.
What's wrong with me today? I woke up really angry...for no reason...and during lecture I felt all bored and emo. Was late to meet James...like 1 hour late cause of the stupid photocopying aunty. Gosh....went with James to Raffles City Shopping Centre, intention? To get his girlfriend Charissa a gift for Valentine's day. So he got her a necklace from Perlini's and he was worried it'd be too small for her neck so he asked the lady to extend it but the extention went out of stock so we headed back to my place to play a little cards after ages. But before that we made a little detour to AMK to get more cards...gosh...it's been long since we've visited that shop too. Came home, played 2 rounds, I lost once and drew the next round and we went to watch youTube videos. He went home not long after and I was home...alone. Went to my room and lay on my bed staring into the blank ceiling, nothing in my mind. Went back to the computer not long after, started playing golden oldies and James was sending me few as well. A sudden surge of sadness filled me and for what reason I do not know why too. I started tearing..maybe the songs were the cause of it? I don't know...it's depressing to think about it anymore. Exams are around the corner and I have no mood to study. I feel like quitting school, I hate this course, but what other options do I have. So what if I scored well? I wasn't elated...not in the least bit, I would just be satisfied. My mind's a mess now...I don't know what I'm doing these days. Everyday I tell myself to quit but I can't...it's not an addiction...it's more of a habit. I do it because I'm sad..and I'm sad because I do it, what am I saying...it's such a lousy excuse. I sleep at 4 or 5 am everyday and wake up at 11 or a bit later. Life's getting more and more boring. I wonder how I can live through this any longer...but I'm not going to kill myself or anything...don't worry my readers. I'm curious to see how I'll cope with it and live on. It'll be crappy and pathetic but I'll try. If anybody is free enough...could you do me a favour by checking out the symptoms of a person who is about to go insane or schizophrenic, thanks. I'm a good kid...I'm filial to my parents and siblings, I do not lose my temper as often as I did in secondary, I try to be as accomodating as I can to all my friends but why am I still feeling so down and out, I just don't get it!My thoughts are what fill my life,
Inside it all there is no peace.
How can one hold such strife?
Tell me so I can live my life with ease.
Yes, so I do take a puff ever and anon,
It's not as though I'm having so much pleasure.
Most of the time it's just me and me alone,
Forget my life, it's no treasure!
Some people stare and say "What a horrendous sight!"
And I go home to the mirror and look
Indeed I don't look a delight.
So then I realise it must be what I took.
Is it my fate or my will that I be so broken,
So much guilt and misery entrap my nights.
Many dark secrets I hold, but now I must be open,
For the shadows like to thee do mock my sight.
My eyelids have grown as heavy as my thoughts.
Now, I must retire to my room.
With reluctance I head to bed, afraid of dreams of all sorts.
So please pray that I won't meet my doom.
Sorry this has been such a sad and depressing post, but do not shower me with sympathy..it'll just make things worse. I feel much better letting it all out, guess I'm happier than I was just now. Goodnight or rather Goodmorning...it's now 3am and I've got to get my rest...