Indie Snob

2011-07-16T01:12:00.004+08:00

2 weeks. An unfamiliar island ugly in the day but so scenic at night. This island brought me problems, made me appreciate what I left and miss back in homeland. It is true that one will never understand the joy of return till you have left home. I was taken away from my loved ones for 2 weeks. I had dreams at night sometimes so scary i would wake up crying from them. I had times I felt so lost I'd just stare blankly into a toilet bowl and just cont flushing several times. I've smoked a ton of cigarettes during my time here. I haven't enjoyed the food at all one bit either which explains my weight loss. I'm so tired I could just rest my head anywhere and fall asleep. This island has changed the person i am. The wind is so strong...the weather is cool..the sun shining so bright..it's a beautiful day..yet i still haves tears welled up in my eyes. It's so depressing...

2011-06-10T16:54:00.002+08:00

Your feelings really hit me. I know we only have a little time left but that's exactly why I want to spend our time together like we always do. Like any other day. I want to believe that it's not something special to signify the end but instead that it's not the ending. So let's make a promise, that this is not the end of everything, but just the beginning once again. If you'd ask me truthfully if I wanted to let go then my answer would of course be no. If you ask me whether I'll be fine with you not around any more, of course I won't be. I made a promise to myself not to let you out of my sight. I may not have anyone left whom I'll really love and that might be a sad thing for me, but cause I know that we cannot be with each due to certain reasons and not because we don't love each other that's something that consoles me. I will wait...keep on waiting because I know that one day will come where I can ask for your hand and there will be no one else who could object to it.

2011-06-10T10:29:00.002+08:00

15 Things I do that remind me of you

1) Waking up in the morning

I remember how such a brat you are especially when you have to wake up early. You throw little spoilt princess tantrums and start stomping the floor.

2) Brushing my teeth

I remember how you can just find a toothbrush somewhere in your room then take toothpaste and brush your teeth IN bed with your eyes still closed.

3) Bathing

Every time I wash my little 'me' I see the scar there and remember the little mishap we had that one day.

4) Going to 7-11

I remember your favourite instant cup noodles, spicy oyster flavoured after which you must definitely get a flavoured drink and some sweets (e.g. Chupa Chups)

5) Using the computer

I remember how you can spend the longest time doing your work, trying to find solutions to help you finish your work faster instead of finishing your work sometimes not even while finding the solutions you start working on other trivial yet life or death matter to you tasks which can actually be done in your free time.

6) Using my iPhone

I remember how you can squat anywhere for the longest time and just play games on your iPhone

7) Walking up/down the stairs

I remember the times we would sit by the flight of stairs near your house and smoke, I remember slipping a couple of times, you did too and I remember having to piggy back you 5 floors down on one of the days.

8) Super glue

I remember the time you tried to fix back the iPhone cover I bought for you and ended up making a mess getting super glue all over your hands.

9) Writing my poems

I remember how you made fun of me when I first said that I was gonna try and publish my own book. While writing I remember how you start coming up with hilariously lame rhymes and raps.

10) Listening to Music

I remember how you always have a song of the week and we'd spend the whole time just listening to the same song repeatedly in your car with you singing it at the top of your voice.

11) Clubbing

I remember every single time I met you, the first time on the dance floor where you shuffled at Soul, you looked like a goddess. Testing my memory when you gave me your number. Shirley Temple the only thing you'd always want to drink.

12) Eating McDonalds

Having McSpicy with you for almost every meal was the most enjoyable thing ever. Scolding me for finishing up your drink, for leaving just the bread and no chicken for you and especially for not finishing my food.

13) Going up a lift

I remember how you'd always start looking for your house keys and the infamous question of yours "Where did i put my house keys?" which would be followed by "You took it.." when I never even touched your keys but it made me laugh.

14) Watching a movie

I'll always remember, the first movie we watched together, Arthur. You were very late for it, and I was waiting with a McSpicy and Nuggets, you came looking so scared, afraid that I'd scold you for being late and you apologised so sadly but you saw me smiling and asked "you're not angry?" And I replied you "You still made it for the movie right so why should I be angry?" Movies we watched together - Arthur, A Chinese Ghost Story, Water for Elephants, Priest

15) Sleeping

I'll always remember how you'd always tuck your legs in between mine. How your head just rests against my chest and on top of my right arm. The fragrance of your hair, your long beautiful lashes, the moles on your right cheek and chin, the deep breaths you take when you sleep, how you suddenly grab my hand and hug it while you're asleep.

When You feel alone just look at the spaces between your fingers and remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever, be the wonder woman that you are inside of you so smile..cause that one smile of yours gives me a thousand butterflies in my stomach.

Your smile was always the brightest beam of light
That seemed to shoot across those blackened skies
Each and every painful night

Your eyes always seemed to have a mesmerizing shine
That twinkled in sync with the Heaven's
And wont seem to leave my mind

Today is a gift, that's why it's called present
Your voice still echoes lively, even without your essence

Our mistakes, of the past, will never be remade
And I can see so clearly now, but then the light starts to fade
Begging never suited my taste, nor, I know, did stealing
As well, I can't let all your efforts go to waste
So, to leave you now, I am most unwilling..

Leaving you is the hardest thing I've had to do,
But I know that I have too.
So I'll say goodbye, and I'll walk away,
There's silence, nothing left to say,
I'll love you, each day without you more and more,

2011-05-19T00:09:00.004+08:00

You'll be my girl forever, that is if you are a believer
My love for you will never end, I yearn to be more than just a friend
Someday I'll see you when I turn,
I'm not over you yet, that's what I'll learn

I'll try to convince myself that I AM over you,
Oh how I wished you loved me too
Back to the friendly past, where hopefully it will last
At least longer then before, but then again what more can I ask

Yes, it was the worse day of my life,
Wishing if would last till you were my beloved wife
You'd be part of a dream which would come true,
Instead now it's just become a memory of you

I still believe in the same destiny,
That you and I were meant to be
My witnesses are the stars from above,
In our next lives again we will love

2011-05-18T01:34:00.005+08:00

I think I'm going crazy...I can't stop thinking about you for even a sec....I keep looking at my phone to see if I missed any of your calls or text messages. I keep logging into the pokerist to check if you're online just so I could talk to you. I haven't heard much from you all day and it feels like something is piercing my heart. I almost went into hyper ventilation when I heard you had to tell me something and that you had to clear your mind first before saying anything to me. I want to see you so badly...I feel like a lost soul wandering aimlessly...lost of any sense of direction...lost in everything.....I'm having insomnia...been waking up every 2 or 3 hours because of weird dreams...just this afternoon I had a dream that I wish would never come true...I had a dream that you sent me an sms...with just these words " Do you know you are the sweetest guy ever to me...I'm so grateful to you for showing me the love and concern when no one else would..."
I woke up in tears....so scared that it was real...I don't want it to happen. My heart keeps thumping so rapidly. I miss you so much....a day without seeing you is a torture. I wouldn't have gone to Zouk had it not been for your sms "hmmmm....I think I most probably will head down later as well." I wanted to see you so badly....it's not an excuse to club...it's not a reason either....I just pure heartedly wanted to see you that badly. Please please please....don't tell me that you're leaving me

2011-05-14T21:11:00.002+08:00

How I long to hear your sweet voice
The soft sexy way in which you speak to me
To have shivers run through my body
Just the way that I know they would

How I long to feel your heart beating
Feel it beating when I lay my head down to it
Knowing that it beats so fast and strong
Just knowing it does because of me

How I long to smell your breath
The swirl of your breath as your lips touch mine
Your breathing labored and sweet and the essence
Of your longing filling my mine with wanting you

How I long for your warm soft touch
The touch I have longed for in my dreams
Of fingertips slowly stroking my body
Touches that I will be screaming for more of

How I long for the taste of you
Just once, just so I can survive
This life, knowing what it was like
Just once ....just once

2011-04-30T11:19:00.002+08:00

My mind's running amok
My heart's in a frenzy
I'm losing control

I made a mistake
I can't solve it
A problem that's driving me insane

Will you text me like you usually do?
Will you meet me just like before?
I'm so scared it'll all change

I'm shivering with fear
I'm going blank
I'm thinking of nothing but you

You say it's an infatuation
You say it's a phase
I say it's one crazy love

I didn't mean to be so insane
I don't want to be treated with disdain
I just want you

I know I've got nothing to offer
I know I'll bring you just trouble
But then I know I'll always love you

Just to hold your hand or walk arm in arm
Just to hold you tight and tuck you in to bed
It's all just a wish of mine

2011-04-26T00:49:00.005+08:00

Sitting under the darkened sky
I'm harboring thoughts so sly
As you lay asleep on my lap
My heartbeat sounds like a hundred claps

As the sweet aroma from your perfume passes through
Second by second my fondness for you grew
Sleeping so innocent like a baby's smile
I wish this would last more than just a while

2011-04-23T20:19:00.002+08:00

Bound to be hopeless
Without reason, choice, or will
It's something that merely happens
I wish I could rid myself of this curse
Yet again..it's somewhat fun to always be entranced
It will work out, even if I'm the last to let go

2011-04-23T06:48:00.005+08:00

"Longing.."

Your essence lingers all around me, covering every inch of my soul,
Yet I remain patient with kind thoughts, and an imagination I can't control
My mind is but a playground for ideas, with your face as my inspiration

Entranced by your heart, it shocks me like straight electrification
A simple “I Love You” could do it but there's just too many complications
These emotions which are inevitable, I'm just waiting for you to notice

Your life's an unsolved jigsaw with a hundred missing pieces
Your tears can flow, and travel a thousand seas,
But I'll always be right here, for you to depend on me..

Inspired by AJW

2011-04-12T01:30:00.001+08:00

My heart's beating faster than usual,
Even though it's just been a week or so I've got no idea why it feels like it's been a year or more.
I don't know if I'm excited or nervous..maybe both..or maybe it's just an extreme version of happiness.
I know how I feel but it's just impossible, I'm afraid it'll all just end so I'm contented with the way things are now,
Eagerly anticipating that sweet smile of yours..
Just waiting and waiting..

2011-04-02T18:50:00.006+08:00

What's on my mind now??

A misty black forest.

Sirens

An imprisoned angel

Apocalypse

2011-04-02T17:56:00.002+08:00

wondered if ever the things that we see
were but an imagination of our reality
to last for an infinity not bound by time
living in loops is this world of mine

a world bound by nothing, no laws of gravity nor friction
a world led by our mind's own jurisdiction
cause every moment spent with her is so precious
it needs neither reality or time's consensus

2010-10-15T20:05:00.004+08:00

A bundle love chucked aside
dumped with dirt, lies, and deceit
torn, broke, and burned

Betrayal was just the beginning
broke me open pulled my heart out
took it and ripped it apart

Of the things I saw and heard
nothing...nothing I believed
was trusting you not right?

What you told me everyday
"I miss you...I love you..."
I fell for your little act

I didn't do anything bad
yet I'm the one going through hell
the biggest joke pulled on me...

I feel broken
but where's that broken heart?
burned and dumped with dirt for no one to see

I will love you till the end
but we will never be the same
...no, not ever at all

to you...

...it was just a game

2010-10-07T22:58:00.002+08:00

Another attempt at tilt-shift...seems like I'm getting a bit better...

2010-10-04T22:00:00.003+08:00

In the beginning, it was only my sleeve that got wet. I thought I'd just wait for the sleeve to dry, stood up a while and then walked away. But after a bigger and stronger wind with heavier rain pouring down, it stopped me from moving forward. If I get blocked by this unavoidable rain..I would lose the path that I have to walk, even though I want to run far away, I keep holding back. If only the skies would clear up much faster, then I'd be able to walk away from this storm.

2010-10-04T01:18:00.003+08:00

My shot at tilt-shift photography again, not exactly a wonderful photograph to work with but I tried.

In the midst of the night
Staring into the dark sky
A full moon shines
It's my only source of light
Emitting a spiritual beauty
I feel its enchanting glory
A howl I let go
Through the realms it echoes
Lonely and sad I seem
A longing for someone
A love that has no end...

2010-10-03T17:48:00.001+08:00

2010-10-02T00:25:00.002+08:00

Whispering winds talk to me at night
Cruel temptations awaken the satan in me
Bliss, a feeling long lost, long forgotten
Envy me, hate me, curse me

Sitting through the night in a lost garden of eden
Looking at withered fallen petals
I stumble upon a lone blooming flower
Like the rising sun, it illuminates the dark

True despair transformed to new born hope
A cardinal angel spreads it's wings around me
Warmth and belief embezzles me from within
The beauty of life stiffens me up

2009-06-14T18:23:00.003+08:00

You Judas incarnate
It is people like you I hate
Scheming and cheating
You deserve a fucking beating

You used me like a tool
And treated me like a money pool
If not for me where would you be?
If not for me you'd just be a pussy

And of all the things that you could have said
Tell me what was in your head?
You're just a fucking prick
And you don't deserve Eunice or any other chick

A close friend, my doubles partner
It's because of these ties that triggered my anger
Can't believe you did this to me
I'm disappointed, so go fuck yourself Fuji

2009-06-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

I've watched the film "You've got mail" numerous times, and I've just finished watching it again. And I will admit that it's one of those films that just have such a lovely ending that makes your heart feel so warm, and you just want to embrace that warmth and celebrate it with a few tear drops. It makes me feel that love...has nothing to it at all, there's no math involved, nor is there any periodic table like science in it. It's the easiest emotion next to happiness to express, and yet why is it still so difficult to love? Because there is fear, the fear of losing that loved one, the fear of being cheated by that very loved one, the fear of being hurt by or EVEN for the loved one. Which is why we hate ourselves for feeling that fear, and when we start hating ourselves, we begin to suffer. In the film "You've got mail", it just goes to show how unpredictable love can be, how yet how easy it is to fall in love. You don't need to see the person, you don't need to hear the person's voice, all there is to it is the link and the bond built between the two parties. You need to know how each other feels all the time, and you have to listen to each other. Yea you may be at loggerheads with one another at times, but all that needs to be done to resolve that are a few simple words, and just listen...to yourself and the other party. I believe that I've wrote something similar to this few years back or even few months...I don't know. But one thing is for sure, I've always found it easier to love than to hate. And that I love Meg Ryan...hahahahaha. Goodnight blog.

2009-05-08T03:56:00.003+08:00

It's 3.42am in the morning right now, and I still can't get to sleep. I watched 19 episodes of Skip Beat! in just one night. While watching it occurred to me how sad and pathetic my love life has been. Truth is...I don't really think I've loved any of the girls I've been with at all. Yea I did treat them nice and all, and the thing is that I've never gotten angry with any them AT all nor even got into a heated argument. I just simply believed that conflict was unnecessary and it would kill my brain-cells to go through the whole pre and post-argument process. I've always wanted them to be happy, in which I've realised that all my relationships revolved around the certain "her" and not "us". Then came these two lines from Skip Beat! which pierced me.."I would never be that someone who's special to you" and "You will never have a place in your heart for me". Coincidently, both my ex-girlfriends said these lines when they broke up with me. Of course there were more lines than just those two. One other line which another girl said to me that I remember was "You're here with me, but you're always somewhere else"..which is true..I've always just been there, physically, but my mind and heart were always somewhere else. I've recently just been dumped by another girl, who didn't break up with me and went to get engaged to another guy. I never thought such scenarios would ever happen in reality unless it was from a scene out from "Days of Our Lives". I still don't know how badly affected I am by this cause I still seem pretty normal, and I don't remember it at all until I start to feel lost and lonely. The only girl I think I may have had real feelings for was Elizabeth, but then again...I got over her in about a week or so. I've absolutely no clue now what love is or feels like, it may even be the clichéd description which came from Skip Beat! but I hope I that one day when it hits me, I'll realise it.

The time now is 4.28am. I've got to wake up in 4.5 hours time for work. I must be nuts to be blogging about such redundant and immature thoughts in the wee hours of the morning, but I couldn't help it. Well...signing out

2009-04-14T15:44:00.002+08:00

I saw a Messiah standing in Heaven
Standing before me with no words
Nothing but "Hope"
Yet I heard of your glory

You saved our world from the fallen angels
When we lost dread, a Demon was laughing
But now you are showing us wonder
Giving your love

Let me walk with you when I'm lost in the wild
I know you always lead me to another Eden
Let me bless your name, O Lord, O Lord!
Your words will never fade away

Since we believe you're the light on Earth
With awe, down on my knees again
I've got to know you're the one
The only one who reveals the world

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power

2009-04-09T14:31:00.003+08:00

Yes...I'm at the office blogging. Well nobody is around here anyway...I'm all alone. Sometimes people regret saying things that they shouldn't and reflect on it awfully bad after doing so. That is exactly what I am going through now. I wish I didn't say some things, things meant to be kept to myself...ARGHHH! I feel like shit...but if I didn't say those things would it have helped? I would have felt guilty not saying it in fact. Anyway, back to work...lots of stuff to do SUDDENLY...thanks to a mere SMS.

Whirling and twirling
My mind spills a mess
Upon your ears now
I unnecessarily confess

To every little obsession
Every detail that won't quit,
Rising and falling,
Won't keep quiet for a bit

And stuck in the middle
Must be my middle name,
And frozen from fear now
Which move next in this game?

So seriously deadly,
Or perhaps the other way,
Or helping or hurting
What could I possibly say?

Do I have a purpose?
Do you, does he, does she?
Perhaps this confusion
Has a meaning as well for me

2009-03-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

I've never had so much to think about in my life as I did today. A lot of stuff was going on in my mind and I needed to clear my head. Hence, I went for a jog instead of going to church to confess. Definitely my future was one of the major concerns I had. I thought...what happens after I graduate from Uni and get a degree in Digital Audio Engineering and Electronic Music? What do I REALLY want to do and what do I NEED to do? Money...How much do I need to earn so I can support my parents and my OWN family if I happen to have one. It's certain I've never thought of how much I wanted to earn because I always believed that I'll be satisfied with whatever I earn as long as I was enjoyed the job I'm in. How long do my parents have to wait till I can support them fully without them having to slog it out for themselves? They can't depend on my sisters cause the both of them have their own families to take care of already. It's funny how I am blogging about this and it feels like a déjà vu. Well whatever..next I thought of which woman would be willing to get married to a dreamer like me? Who in their right mind would fall for a guy who's dream and goal is to become a dj/producer? No woman would want to slug it out with a guy who's poor and has no certain future, there is simply no security. So will I have a family? If not, then I wouldn't need to earn as much as I need to right? Then it all just continues to revolve around the same topic until I found myself having thoughts after thoughts that just kept running through my mind like a runaway train on an endless railway. and now I am in a confused state. I have no idea what I am doing. As I am here, my whole world seems to be spinning, could be the rush of blood into my head after the jog..I don't know.

Well most of today seemed like I was walking through Hollywood, well it tends to be like that most of the time because of the amount of movies that I've watched. To the station on my way out of home, I saw this dude walking towards me, he sent murderous chills down my spine...he had the vibe of Tony Montana from the movie "Scarface". Why so? He was wearing this pair of lookalike "Rayban" classic sunglasses, which had a faint gold tint. And he also had on this silk Cuban flowery shirt which had the top 2 buttons opened and that trimmed goatee of his...gosh. What hit me the most was the way he walked, it was a wee bit retarded but I swear this guy definitely thinks he's a star. Just picture Tony Montana wearing a silk Cuban shirt and add in Derek Zoolander's catwalk...BOOM! You get exactly what I saw..Montana Zoolander. I could imagine him doing the infamous Zoolander "Magnum" pose..haha...that would be been hilarious. Next movie star I saw? Jean Claude Van Damme as Robocop. This happened to be in town as I was walking towards the office. I saw this Malay guy who wore this tight tank top and super skinny washed sky blue denim jeans which had a size 24 waist...no kidding, this guy had a waist size smaller than any woman. He wasn't very tall either, just about my shoulder's height and I'm 5"5(166cm). But his muscles...damn...he could kill me with the mere twitch of his fingers. They were so well-defined it made me wonder if he underwent plastic surgery for muscle construction or maybe STEROIDS...no idea man it was just perfect...like what Jean Claude Van Damme said.."God gave me a great body and it's my duty to take care of my physical temple"...HE definitely had a physical temple. The weird thing about him though...he walked like Robocop...it took him 40 seconds to cross the traffic light at the Ion construction site to Wheelock Place! What took me 18 seconds to walk and mind you I wasn't rushing cause my feet were hurting like hell cause of my bloody shoes...took him twice the time. Each step that he took looked like he was trying to flex every muscle on his body and it was so mechanical he seemed like a cyborg or maybe he was just too scared that if he walked any faster, wind resistance MAY actually damage the beauty of his spectacular muscles. God knows where he was going to but hell he may have had to have a buffer time of few hours before he could reach his destination. Well..I had 1 or 2 more sightings of these "Hollywood" stars today but if I were to go on...I'd be defaming the real Hollywood stars with the fakes.

Looking forward to the weekend...Judge Jules and New Young Pony Club...AYE!

2009-03-27T00:35:00.003+08:00

Look past me,
or through
Give me all the courtesy
of a pane of glass,
Perhaps then I'll see the silver

What would I even say
to your perfection?
Would I stumble?
Flail helplessly
and hope for pity?

Lose myself?
Like the keys in my front pocket
to the mess of my upturned drawers..
Instead..manufacture something grander
from pieces of my own forgotten grandness?
perhaps..
a failing David
chipped hastily from the Stonehenge?

Perhaps I missed the point
Perhaps I missed true perfection
Maybe it isn't hidden away
behind your eyes
at the check-stand across from me..
who are you, anyway?

If my dream of you is perfection
then perfection lives within that dream..
Within me..

2009-03-26T23:57:00.000+08:00

Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li

"STAR-STUDDED" Cast: Kristin Kreuk as Chun Li (Smallville Pretty Face)
Edmund Chen as Chun Li's Father (Mediacorp Small Time Actor)
Robin Shou as Gen (Liu Kang of Mortal Kombat)
Michael Clarke Duncan as Balrog (Green Mile Big Man)
Neal McDonough as Bison (Familiar face in several lousy films)
Chris Klein as Charlie Nash (American Pie Duschbag)

The movie was a joke made of street fighter. I have no idea what was the budget they had to work with but it seemed even Ong Bak had a bigger budget. The setting was bad, the cast was bad and the acting was horrendous. Chun-Li went from little Chinese girl to Eurasian girl and finally to Caucasian girl, it showed how she had evolved together with the deterioration of the Mandarin language as she grew older. The first Cantonese line Kristin Kreuk had to say was:"yo mo yan hai pang so ah!" which means is there anyone around to help. She said it so quickly and jumbled up the words...it sounded like she was just screaming:"Yoyangmpangsah!" Then surprisingly...in her home situated in HK, she spoke to all her servants in freaking Mandarin man...and the only Mandarin I heard her say was:"Shie Shie!" and "Wo bu ming bai". Her mandarin was shit ass lousy, must have taken her 2 freaking years to learn thank you and I don't understand in Mandarin. Then came the ridiculous part where Chun-Li went to see this Chinese woman who started blabbering a whole load of crap which I couldn't understand cause there were no subtitles. And then...Chun-Li was asked to go to Bangkok to be ONE WITH THE PEOPLE. But she wasn't really the joke of the movie, it was Ltn.Charlie Nash from Interpol. Damn he could win America's Next Top Model with his role in the movie. He was posing for the camera throughout the whole movie...squinting his eyes at the camera...pouting his lips to give that "sexy" feel...oh come on...and there were just plain cold lame dialogs like the ones David Caruso had in CSI:Miami. The fight sequences were bad...and the biggest joke was Balrog having a freaking DURIAN thrown at his head and still survive with barely even a scratch. He must have like a head of iron or something man...who could ever survive a direct hit in the skull with a Durian? And who would in their right mind would throw a DURIAN with their bare hands at someone...it's suicidal and sick man. No wonder the Bangkok mobsters who had guns retreated with Balrog..the villagers were insane shits. The came the classic Bollywood fast-forwarded fight scenes to make it seem as though they were fighting each other real fast. Vega Vs Chun-Li, one of the major fight scenes? Nope...it lasted for less than 2 minutes. It was like the original street fighter game, you have 90 seconds before defeat/victory. There was no effort to include any real CG...the only CG I saw was Chun Li's Yin Yang Powerball. Next thing when I witnessed was Bison having his head twisted by Chun Li and best part of it all...Neal McDonough just wore his suit backwards to show his head was twisted...how ORIGINAL AND CLASSIC! It reminded me of this video I watched years back...

Yup...even THIS movie had a more intense fight. Yea...OVERALL rating for Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li: 0/5

2009-03-25T00:12:00.003+08:00

What is truth? What is a lie? In my context...a lie is something fictitious. Like a story book. You tell a lie like you're telling a story, make belief, a lie is something that has never happened, a lie may in fact be the truth in a parallel dimension. Your lie could be the truth happening to yourself in the other world..no one knows. The truth is our existence, everything that we do and the very fact that we are living organisms in this world is the truth. You're probably confused by what I'm saying here, probably no one could understand this except for myself so forgive me before you proceed on reading. Truth has always been a major issue with human beings. Thus came about the term, trustworthiness. How do you judge a person's trustworthiness? Every single micro organism in this world probably can communicate with one another, it's just the difference in species which make things incomprehensible. I've always tried to tell the truth. But in this human world where we homosepians have evolved so radically, we started to become suspicious of one another, which is the very reason why we lie to one another. We want to live in that perfect fantasy world where everything would be perfect by a simple tell tale spelled and composed by our inner selves. Nobody WANTS to lie, but everybody WANTS a perfect life, which is impossible given our nature. Today I have experienced the truth becoming a lie. Did I lie about anything, no I didn't think so. Did I tell the truth? I did I believe so. But my truth became a lie because of misconception. Am I lying now or am I telling the truth, I'm having the same misconception my mom and sis have of me.

On my way back after the movie with my colleagues, I felt....I don't even how to explain it. It was a sudden surge of blood pumping into my heart which made me feel like I was hyper-ventilating, but it was not hyper-ventilation, and neither was it a panic attack, nor was it an adrenaline rush. But as I got off that train, everything around me seemed so weird, it's like I could hear everything so clearly, like the sound of the escalator handrails moving, every single person who was talking, the sound of crickets and frogs in the field, lamp posts bulbs flickering, cars and motorcycles in the distant. My left and right ears were catching different sounds from every direction and it was irritating, my whole world became noise. I just wanted to go back home and shut myself in the room. I feel physically fine...but I think mental fatigue has caught up with me finally.

My body restless
My mind amok
The world's a circus
I'm stage-struck

My heart beating
My lungs pumping
The noise is jarring
I'm buckling

2009-03-24T01:08:00.003+08:00

I love taking pictures of the sky...and especially love these 3 photos that I took. Shows that there is always sunlight behind every cloud...dark or clear.

Even in the night...the moonlight shines brilliantly behind the night sky.

Behind every cloud there is sunlight
Behind every night sky there is the moon
Behind it all, lies my blue lagoon

2009-03-23T11:17:00.003+08:00

I feel like nothing matters anymore,
empty and alone,
and I keep thinking of before,
when I was happy and full of laughter,
but I just don't care anymore...

2009-03-22T00:06:00.003+08:00

The whole day I've been on my toes
Wearing a jacket and stupid formal clothes
I kept counting the heads of those rich egos
Watching them strut around like pharaohs

Walked around in circles till I got dizzy
Escorting rich asses like some caddie
Just being around them made me measly
Thinking they have latte while I have gutter coffee

Listened to a talk boring as hell
Until that Indonesian dropped the bombshell
I laughed till my stomach became unwell
Oh dear..I have shit to dispel!

So many views they all had to impart
I swear a battle was about to start
They all should shut up and just depart
Otherwise smell my lovely fart

2009-03-20T23:48:00.002+08:00

I had dreams of being a Dj
Spinning endlessly on a thrill
Millions of songs I insist to play
For ears listening against my will

Now I sit and take time to wonder
Your name's the only thing running through my head
If only I were taller
I wouldn't have much unsaid

The joy and energy you supply
Your stupid jokes, your funny lines
Until I ask...am I wry?
I guess I am with my brain just entwined

Your kinkiness and chivalry
With your reality and fantasy so surreal
The way it overpowers me
It's when I feel I'm most real

Your smile, frown, and scars
Your bark, whimper, and bite
It became part of my memoirs
It became like my nightlight

I wonder if what I see is the truth
Your habits and peeves oh how you confuse
Are my eyes the slyest sleuths?
Or are you someone I'm not willing to lose?

2009-03-14T18:16:00.003+08:00

You saved me from myself
More than anyone
Cause everyone had themselves
You always stayed through till the end

You're the only one who could comfort me
When I was alone
The only one who can make me smile
My head hurts I think I'm going to be sick

The music in my head were your dreams
Your own love's your lifetime
You gave me your heart
You died for me relentlessly

You may not look like much
But you were the best work of art
Even though you couldn't speak
I heard every word you said

Only you could sing your tune
Only you could listen to my music
And only you could save me
Not just anyone

Yet I lost you in the through absent-mindedness
With shrinking hope of you being found
Too long you have gone to flee alone
I know no longer how to roam

2008-10-22T19:57:00.002+08:00

Nothing much to blog about today actually just that I felt like blogging, no idea why. Almost late for work today, bloody hand phone alarm of mine couldn't wake me up. Work was boring as hell...well...what's new huh. Except today I totally had N.O.T.H.I.N.G to do. Pathetic, and I moved seat again so now I'm sitting next to the Filipino girl in my office. Damn funny hearing her talk on the phone, I can't help it..I'm an ass..especially when it comes to racial things. I'm not racist, don't be mistaken it's just humorous to hear their diff accents. I was waiting for her to say those "infamous" words that Filipinos cannot pronounce properly...no I mean those words they SAY AWKWARDLY...hahaha..and it came..word after word after word until the end of the day I heard the best one. You know when maids say they need to 'Send Back' money...their 'Send Back' actually sounds like 'San Bak' as in Mama San the San and Bak Ku Teh the Bak. So yeah...Sorry sir, I think you need to 'San Bak' the cheque to us for 'invest-igation!' yes...the 'invest' was low pitch followed by a hyped up 'igation!'. I laughed at my desk...bloody bastard I know...I'm sorry but I can't help it. So I was practically wasting time at the office from 4.30-6.30...I would've met Mitchell for Kuishin-Bo if not for my bloody work, had a hearty meal and go home all full and happy...NOOOOOOOO...I had to stay at work. Tonight's St James event also canceled...sigh...if not for those killjoy friends huh Mitchell. Anyway after work going back in the train...again something happened...but this time not abt someone else but myself. I have no idea why I got so tired once I boarded the train, I think maybe all the ammonia gas from those workers sweat and everything diffused and probably knocked me out...no idea. But yea I went into a deep sleep until Ang Mo Kio. I slept so soundly my head knocked into this lady's chin I think. Gosh...was she pissed off after that. Stared at me and gave me this look like I'm some alien from Mars of what..even after I apologized. But still damn embarrassing...not the first time this happened also, last time I knocked a little girl's head she almost cried. Anyway I'm home now....and there's no dinner cooked for me, so I shall see what's in the cabinet for me to whip up myself...probably some omelette and rice with kimchi soup...sounds good yea...hahaha..but the kimchi is instant packet...hahahaha. Alright...till next time again.

2008-10-19T18:47:00.003+08:00

I'm back from KL! Gosh...MAO's house was a mess. Moss in the toilet,inside the shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes which I think were years old, toothbrush holders since my grandma was still in this world, broken pipes, broken down tv and dvd as well as air-con. The only things functioning in his house was his pens, desk, laptop and his electric cooker. This my friends is what happens when you leave a China man, who works from 9-11pm daily, alone to live in a small little rut. So my mom spent an entire night cleaning up the house for us to live properly in. Well, the new house is just about ready, we'll be getting the keys in December so hopefully he'll decide to move there instead of waiting for that old rut to collapse by itself. A lot of memories in that little old rut though so it's hard to leave. Anyway, here's the thing, the prayers for my Grandpa's death anniversary started Friday afternoon, it took place IN the old rut and lasted for like an hour only I guess? So after that I went for a haircut with my cousin to this salon. I had a professional cut my hair but it seemed like I could have done the job myself cause my hair STILL LOOKED THE SAME. Dumb ass just shredded a few strands of hair of my head and charged my cousin for it. After that we went to traditional dirty M'sian Hokkien Mee at a Dirty coffee shop with Malays speaking 'hokkien' and the Chinese speaking 'malay' and the Indians.....Nope...don't remember any there. Food was good except the Chinese tea which tasted like gutter water with tea leaves plucked from a rain tree. Went back home and slept, next day woke up and went shopping with my mom. Geez...you'd think our shopping trip would be great but no...MAO gave us a hundred bucks to spend, yes...100 bucks for BOTH of us to spend. SO my mom took the money and I had to go change my own, she went to cut her hair, I went roaming around Sungei Wang. I sure Sungei Wang is no long a safe place, well at least the outside isn't. There was this huge group of Malay kids hanging outside Maybank which looked like a MOB or something, I was just walking through them and I was fearing for my life, if I had looked up and accidentally stared at any one of them, I swear I would've died there and no one would've known. They would have probably stabbed me to death and thrown me into one of their mobs by the garbage bins. So after my mom was done with her hair, we went to The Pavillion to shop. Sounds grand huh...well it is and we were daring enough to enter Gucci and DKNY with only the few pieces of 10 Ringgit notes in our wallets...hahaha. Anyway we wanted to get our oncoming babies some clothes so we went shopping for baby wear. I swear my mom is another stingy one just like MAO, what's wrong with spending a bit more for babies to look cool. I wanted to buy my nephews this damn cool Paul Frank baby's romper but my mom kept nagging not to waste money. SO I asked her to go get her own stuff while I get my own stuff. I ended up buying these 2 GAP rompers which were sweet and 3 pairs of baby socks too. I wanted to buy them the GAP baby's hoody too but yea..I HAD to SIGN so I couldn't go over the limit.

My mom ended up at GAP as well buying 2 more striped rompers for my nephews, so GAP solved our baby problem. MAO came back with the most shocking story. His company's car had just been reported stolen the day itself, and who knew the robber was so dumb to come and park the stolen car just under my block and sit in it. He obviously robbed without using his brains and now he's in the lock up. I've got lots more to say but I guess I better end it off here, I want to start on my new DVDs I just bought..hahaha...peace out! P.S. Liz SMSed me while I was in KL! :D

2008-10-08T23:47:00.003+08:00

Today..work was non-stop...well what's new? Only diff is that my boss was giving me all cases which I have NEVER done before and also which SHE has not, wow...boss using her staff as guinea pig..how great right. Anyway, met Ms.Chelsea Loo for lunch. She, Jotham and I had an "EXPENSIVE" looking lunch which I must say consisted of Abalone, Shark's Fin and Bird's Nest. We almost ordered their "Buddha Jumps Over The Wall" as well..LOL. But I must say...Jotham's abalone was damn "BIG" and I think their abalone was so "EXPENSIVE" that they only gave him 1 miserable slice...yes slice...not even piece. And Chelsea footed the bill which made it so damn embarrassing for us. So now I owe her a Ben & Jerry's treat. After that back to boring work and blah blah blah. Went to meet up with "Mandingo" and Mr.Nerd because it was Mr.Nerd's birthday and he wanted to treat us. So Jotham and I didn't hesitate to go down and meet him. Yes...assholes I know but hey..if you've got someone who's willing to treat why not huh? LOL...we actually wanted to go drinking with him, make him pay for all the drinks..get him drunk and leave him there alone while we go off home. Bastards? Yes..but he deserves it...LOL. Anyway we settled for dinner and after that FB came down to meet me, partly because I also wanted to introduce them to my man, "Mandingo". I bet he's gonna kill me for promoting him this much in my blog but yea. So for the first time they all met, hopefully everyone managed to get along. Going to club this Saturday at Zouk...Bobs, FB, and the pornstars "Mandingo and Tommy Gunn", hopefully it'll be a great occasion. Oh yes, and here's a piece of advice from someone who just came back home and had the shit of his life. Never have a caramel frappe after eating a heavy meal like tenderloin steak served rare, expect the impossible in your shit house after that. Ok, so I rushed over to meet Esther after that, and thanks to you Fuji, her shop closed..lol. He should know what I mean...thanks really for making me late...LOL...joking. Anyway, I think it was the first time since I don't know when I last met Esther but yup...you have grown a lot more prettier over the years..lol...not saying you were not pretty in Sec Sch...but yes...Ok you should get what I mean. And surprisingly, Esther happens to be in the same course as Mitchell! What a coincidence right? Gosh...S'pore is too small I guess. Alright, here's the highlight...for those who have been wondering why my dad is referred to as Mao right, here's the evidence!

Note this is no offense to the people of China...Seriously. This is just a comparison. But don't you see the resemblance? The mole on the chin, the cheeks, the eyes, the receding hairline, if only my dad didn't smile as much in the photo and was a bit more bald. Gosh...god knows if he was the reincarnation...LOL. Ok...that's all for today, I'm off to bed. Night people!

2008-10-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

Warning!! Today's post may contain contents that could ruin your appetite, puke or even worse make you think that I'm a completely disgusting human being.

But isn't that always the case with all my posts? So what the heck here goes. Today I went to this Malay stall for lunch. Food wasn't all that bad but PRICEY, I mean like $6.50 for a plate of rice with A bagadale, AN egg, A Sardine, and SOME beef and EXCLUSIVE of a drink. Yes, I'm a cheapskate I know it but it's due to my Indian roots, hey aren't my fellow Indian brothers all the same? So cut me some slack. Alright, so after eating such a heavy meal, it's obvious my bowels would have worked up by the time I got back to the office and so I went to the toilet to EASE myself. And yea, as usual...everywhere I go nowadays there seems to be weird disgusting people all around, no idea why it's happening so often lately but yea...I think there's a sudden influx of sick retards. I was in the center cubical MINDING my OWN business, when this guy on my right who was also shitting started a massive flushing frenzy, I swear he flushed the toilet like 6-7 times continuously and I think it overflowed and he had to use tissue to clean the floor. How did I know? Well I saw his hand sweeping the floor with tissue that's why. And no...he didn't finish shitting after that. After the continuous flushing he continued his business and man was it the most scariest time I've ever experienced in a toilet. Nevertheless the flushing continued as well but this time round, every moment the toilet flushed he would go "OOOOHHHHHH" like as if he was getting an orgasm from the sound of the flush. Then whenever he farted, he would go "OH YEA...THAT'S THE WAY...YOU CAN DO IT"...SHEESH...talk about weird. Gosh. I finished my crap as fast as I could even though I didn't really finish but yea...I HAD to get out.

So yea...back to the office and blah blah blah blah blah...until the walking home from Yishun MRT. I seriously think Yishun is like the pit stop for these Sparrows or whatever species of bird they are, that start flying around after 7pm and begin THEIR shitting frenzy. Today was the most unluckiest day of my entire life in Yishun, I've never gotten hit by these birds' shit before but today I did, and not just by one...a WHOLE FUCKING lot of them. So I was walking by the pavement...birds above me in the tree...and suddenly this BLOODY lion dance troupe in this lorry had to come by and scare the freaking daylights out of these birds and they started kamikaze streak except that they don't commit suicide. But this bunch of like 30 over birds suddenly flew over me and like some defensive mechanism starting dropping "cluster bombs" (For more information on cluster bombs go to this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_bomb) around. I think I got hit more than 10 times at least. Went back home full of shit. First time I've taken a shower for about 1 hour and I could guarantee you, I used every single soap and shampoo I could find and scrubbed myself clean. I even washed my hair 3 times just to be sure there's no more bird shit anywhere. I wanted to take picture of my shirt, but that would be too obscene and someone might actually puke or sue me for the pic, so yea...I didn't take any.

Alright...that's all for today's SHITTY post...hope anyone who is reading this doesn't feel SHITTY or DISGUSTED and if you do...just leave me a msg somewhere...I'll remove you from the invited list of readers. PEACE!

2008-10-06T00:02:00.004+08:00

In this blog so far, I've never mentioned how happy I am about becoming an Unkle of 2 nephews. Yes, both my sister's are pregnant and are expecting to give birth to 2 boys early next year. Eagerly anticipating their arrival I couldn't help but spoil them even before they are born. Bought 2 shoes for them because I want my nephews to be the coolest babies in town...they have to be otherwise they wouldn't be my nephews...hahahaha. So I saw these 2 cool baby sneakers in town and didn't hesitate one moment to get them especially when it's so CHEAP.

One is a Sesame Street collaboration with New Balance which is the green one and the other is a Chinese Panda Dunk Low's that has fur around the shoe. See..these 2 babies are going to be the idols of other babies. Sad I couldn't find the Jack Parcell or Fred Perry's baby edition otherwise I would've definitely whooped them up for my unborn nephews. Wahahaha...I promised my sisters that I would make them tennis stars as well..So yea...I'll be busy as soon as these 2 boys are able to make their first footsteps. Watched "Painted Skin" today too. Damn slow moving movie with too much CG. Though I admit the storyline wasn't all that bad(much better than Babylon A.D.) but that ending sucked. Had problem reading the subtitles because I was seated right at the back and I left my specs in the office, so yea...with my pathetic understanding of the Chinese language, I tried my very best to watch the movie. Anyway this is for FB, I think we should club next Saturday instead of Friday, Dj Nervous will be playing at Phuture and I think it's time for a change from the usual Andrew Chow..hahaha...though I wouldn't mind as well but yea, there are other problems too...apparently MAO has started his occasional spot checks again and he's been calling every Friday to check where I am so yea...this Friday I've gotta be home..at LEAST till he calls...hahaha. Alright...gotta go sleep, I've got WORK tomorrow.

2008-10-04T22:43:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a serious party night for me, 2 parties..OK...2 is not a lot but yea in one night it can be quite a thing. I'll talk about work first. Work was damn fun...especially when you have to call up people and hear them speak ridiculous English. I spoke with a lady called Ms.Sasa and she had no idea what I was talking to her about and neither did I. But as usual, to entertain my bored self, I intentionally dragged the conversation on with her for about 5 mins just to have a laugh at her.

Me: "Hi, good afternoon Rick speaking...regarding the opening of your foreign worker's account I've made the appointment for you."

SASA: "AH..Worker? Bank? Time?"

Me: "sorry to say but it's in next year March 2009"

SASA: "Tomollow?"

Me: "No...it's next year"

SASA:"NO next year, tmr?"

Me:"Sorry the banks are fully booked...the only schedule available is for next year"

SASA:"I NO next year...Worker?"

Me:"17 workers right?"

SASA:"NO next year...Far...Worker"

SASA hung up. There were a few more lines that I talked to her but I couldn't comprehend her wonderful grammar and vocabulary so I left it out. Her voice was so funny I asked my COLLEAGUES to do follow up calls just to irritate the life out of her and laugh at her ridiculous voice. OK...I'm mean I admit...but it's all for the fun of things right? Alright then after work drinks with my colleagues, we went to this "CINA CHING CHIONG" pub called JAB 21 I think. Ok...so liquor was cheap over there...freaking 135 bucks for a bottle of Chivas and 155 bucks for a bottle of Martell and free flow of mixers...wtf. So we started of with 3 jugs of beer where we played 5-10, a typical CHING CHIONG drinking game. Massive drinking then, think we finished the 3 jugs in 15 mins...the 5 of us playing. Met Mitchell for a while just to say hi cause she was around at Boat Quay too and then I went back and started the heavy liquor, by the time I knew it I was singing my heart out with my colleagues as well. And cause Fuji asked me to be at Phelan's place by 11 and for every minute I'm late I would have to pay 1% of the grocery bill for the night's party, I had to leave early and they made me bottoms up 2 neat glasses of chivas. I swear it burned my throat when I was gulping it down. Some problems going to Phelan's place cause my bloody phone died on me. But I reached at 11.20pm. Ate teppanyaki and had 3 types of vodka's to drink from. More drinking, but I only had like 3 cups cause I didn't really like Vodka in the first place and I was too full from the food..the 42 below smelt like heaven though, best fragrance from a vodka I've ever smelt, so it was good stuff. Played Beijing Olympics on PS3 for a while, then went to Top Spin 3, and then Mahjong. HAHAHA...FUJI is still sore about losing to me I guess. Damn happy I won yesterday cause it's been fucking long since I've gambled and actually won. My biggest win of the night was the max 5 fold, which in my hand had 2 "tais" from my flower and an animal, then I pung-ed my own "wind" and the "wind" that was "blowing in the round's direction" (LOL..what an explaination, if only blogger had chinese but still then I wouldn't even be able to type anything), plus I had all the same characters and all "pung" and gamed by "HUA SANG ZI MO"...how many fold is that actually? I have no idea but the max fold we played was 5 so yea...3.20 from all of them. To FUJI...that's what you get when you tell me "when he wins then say"...I'll show you I can win...Muahahahaha. Anyway stayed over at Phelan's place and came back today around 3 plus and slept till dinner time when my sisters came over. And here I am blogging waiting for my match to start. Alright...that's all for today and as usual another poem of mine.

All through the night playing Mahjong,
Waiting for my winning tiles to come along.
Where are you my little friends,
All hiding inside till the ends.

I would've played a simpler, less complex game,
But then it would have just gotten lame.
Mahjong definitely gives you stress,
But it's a game that's just about the best.

From counting prevailing winds,
To scoring just a pung.
It makes people chagrined,
Yet a win leaves them a song.

I won money yesterday,
It's something proud I have to say.
Let's play again Mr.Fuji,
But next time we'll gamble on sweets from Sugi.

2008-10-01T21:57:00.006+08:00

OK...Seriously...For being recognized as a clean and green country, we have some of the dirtiest citizens the world doesn't know about. Today, taking the bus to my godma's house...everything was pretty normal until the get off. Gosh...this middle aged woman I swear had the worst dandruff problem in S'pore I think. It looked as though S'pore had just experienced winter and she dipped her head in a pile of snow...ok maybe not that bad...I am exaggerating but it was pretty sick. But you see...there's another part to this plot just like yesterday's old man. This time I was standing behind her about to get off and she did the LUX Super Rich advertisement in the bus. Imagine slow motion...she taking off her scrunchy and that long wavy dandruff filled hair just swing into your path and all the dandruff suddenly flies into your face and mouth...that was what happened to me. As much as I tried to dodge it...I realized my reflexes were too damn slow and if I did anything more drastic it would have looked like I was being shot down in the bus..so I didn't bother. So this is what I advise S'pore public transport services to do if there is such an organization, they should hire bloody hygiene officers at each bus stop and train station to look out for these dirty disgusting people and get them out of the way. OK...enough of this. Next...went to meet Fuji and Phelan for lunch at Waraku cause the both of them had $35 worth of vouchers..cheap bastards I know but it was all well worth it for the meal though I believe the bowl used for my food was a bit over the top..it looked like one of those basins that housewives like my mom use to hand wash clothes. It was around that size...just a BIT smaller. Then we went for pool after that at cineleisure. Here's the thing..we made a gamble...every time one of us loses...$1 is given to pay for the table. Normal right...ok...next...biggest loser has to drink carbonated milk bought from the Korean nick nacks store at B1. Ok...first set(though we didn't intend to play more that 1 set)..which Fuji lost all his games and should have already accepted the dare..but he asked for 1 more set to be played. Ok..second set..again Phelan won both of us and it went to a tie break between me and him. Then to decide the loser we played a game of 9 ball. I gave him like freaking 7 free balls to play..and obviously he won and there you have it..ME the loser. So we went down to buy the drink but ended up buying the wrong one and so they bought ANOTHER drink. Here am I with it...

So I drank it and felt like shit. Immediately I felt like puking it all out..even till now I can feel it bubbling in my poor little stomach. Never drink this...even if your life depends on it..Sang Hwang Gold was the name if I'm not wrong. Oh yeah..and one last thing...Moms are the best. They look after you all your life and have your best interests at heart always. My mom is SO good at her job...in order to help me kill my bad habits she bought a breathalyzer...breath spray...and a special toothpaste for smokers. No fucking idea still how she got the breathalyzer but it still came as a shock to me. So yea...MOMs are the BEST!

I'll give no reaction
Cause it's my selfish satisfaction
While I increase daily uses
I give all the excuses

NO, I don't care what you say
I WON'T find another way
All I need's right here between my fingers
Like it or not the smell always lingers

Stare at me and frown at me
Come shake your fingers down at me
I won't give up the treasures that I hold
I won't stop now to come in from the cold

You might not understand it but I bet
I'll find my greatest lover in this cigarette..

2008-09-30T19:56:00.002+08:00

I just had the sickest and most disgusting train ride of my life. This old man came to sit beside me after Jotham left at Bishan, and he started digging his nose from the time he sat down till I got off at Yishun. The worse part about it was the fact that he was laying his "GOLD" everywhere on the train seat and himself. Next thing, another guy sitting opposite me started digging for "GOLD" as well..fuck..I think he got enticed to do so after seeing how the old man was ENJOYABLY clearing his nose shit and cleaning it all over. The next thing about the old man, he sat in the weirdest position ever...his legs were stretched out...not in front of himself but to MY leg space and his upper body was slanted to the other guy sitting at the corner seat. After which...he got this phone call from someone...his ringtone was the joke of the century...and god knows what language he was speaking to the person in...all I could hear was him shouting..

Old man:"ah ah ah...mo mo mo...eh eh eh...hah hah hah...mo ah...emm emm...ah ah ah"

This went on for like 2mins...wondered how the other person on the line could understand him...and since only god knows what language he was speaking...I deduced that IT WAS GOD who called him. I couldn't contain myself hearing him speak and burst out laughing...then he sat up and gave me this hard stare...and then plomped back to his original sitting position. Anyway...I got off the train after that...still shaking my head at him and smiling my ass off.

Liars..Fakers..Players,
They are all out there to be surveyors.
Beer..Vodka..Liquor.
The tools used to get into girl's knickers.

Cigarettes..Drugs..Weed,
These get you high guaranteed.
Religion..Love..Club,
It's certain the first I would snub.

2008-09-28T12:04:00.003+08:00

Friday was smashing. That's all I can say and will say. Got to know NEW people. All for the glory and progress of FB huh Fuji? LOL...I can say we're still far but we definitely are on the right track. That night I made one big decision. To give up on her because there's no point in loving someone who will never love you back. I'm going back to my old self. I was also bit rusty dancing that Friday night but things will get better. Let's drink the drink of life and give toast to the 7 deadly sins of man. HAHAHAHA!

A manifestation of vindictive anger,
Possessed my entire body making me its slave.
My eyes filled with fury and vengeance,
Ready to start my tidal crime wave.

Relaxation and procrastination,
Describe my current philosophy.
I am nothing more than a sloth,
Showing others how deadly sins can be.

Greed is another sin,
Which seems to have no cure.
Always wanting and needing,
More and more and more.

Lust is a contagious sin,
That we all experience from time to time.
In fact I'm experiencing it right now,
Who wants to be my partner in crime?

Yes..people want our life,
I'm sure it's our destiny and fate.
They should be envious of the privileged,
Regardless of the fact that we're not that great.

We're amazing, smart, irresistibly sexy,
All together swirled.
More famous than famous,
We WILL be celebrities to the world.

Everything in our path,
Must never go to waste.
Scarfing down anything and everything,
Even after we lose all taste.

Dedicated to FB

2008-09-25T23:40:00.002+08:00

I hate it when people ask me stupid questions and remarks when I'm tired. I got a few today which totally pissed me off. I think the work stress is getting onto me...I don't know...maybe it's just cause I feel damn down that she didn't go with us for the movie that night. Fuck. I don't feel like giving a damn anymore.

Stupid question/remark #1:"Hey, you're in the office!"

Obviously...Where else would I be when you're telling me that IN the OFFICE?

Stupid question/remark #2:"Just out of curiosity...how come your lines are engaged on the weekends huh?"

The MOST stupid customer off all time...

Stupid question/remark #3:"Are you sure it's safe to use the credit card on this website(Apple Store)?"

Stupid...it's the Apple Store...if they conduct frauds for credit cards, who is ever going to buy the IPODs online already? More stupid questions followed after this..

Stupid question/remark #4:"Are you sure these IPODs are real?"

ULTIMATE STUPIDITY...It's from the FREAKING APPLE ONLINE STORE!!!

Stupid question/remark #5:"How come your friends bought S size tee for you?"

Shit...did I grow fatter? Taller? any BIGGER? I've always been a S...even though my mom knows it...she still asks this stupid question

Stupid question/remark #6:"Where are you?"

If MAO asked this when he calls my HP I wouldn't mind, but if you call up the house number and I pick up...and you still ask me this? Gosh...Is your brain functioning SLOW?

Ok...guess that's enough ranting for the night. Goodnight.

2008-09-20T20:03:00.002+08:00

I feel like telling Mao this straight in the face...

If you want to get rich so badly...god will never let you become rich
If you want to make your family feel the happiest...god will make you the richest man alive
If you can't get rich...it just means you CAN'T get rich...no point trying and wasting precious time and money

WAKE UP OLD MAN! Stop giving excuses for your ridiculous proposals...and if my dream shatters because of you...I'm NEVER going to forgive you for what you've done.

2008-09-20T10:54:00.002+08:00

Bored...Tired...Expired. Bored because everyone is out having fun while I'm at home due to house arrest by Mao and I am compelled to work everyday. Tired because work has been so tedious and it's become so mundane I'm starting to hate it. Expired because I'm out of ideas how to get her...I just feel like showing her this blog but I'm scared of the outcome.

On the streets and in my dreams,
What I see is what it seems.
Every face has your eyes,
Though it's mine telling me lies.

Every sound has your voice in it,
I look around every minute.
Is it all illusions?
Or are they my delusions?

2008-09-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

Fuck...got home drunk from yesterday...Mom got pissed...complained to the whole family, everyone called to scold me today, Mao gave the worst scolding obviously, think I can stop clubbing for good till I'm released from this bloody prison. Yes I know it's my fault for drinking over the limit, I apologized, but just get over it, how does scolding and talking with such sarcasm even help with the situation, it's just gonna piss the shit out of me. Fuck. The sarcasm in my mom's words this morning just made me boil up.."Oh you're awake already? There's 1 bottle of Martel in the showcase go finish that and get drunk again ah...then you can go back to sleep"...What the fuck...and tomorrow work resumes again...don't even have the mood to go...imagine for 3 months I have to pick up calls and hear complaints..gosh what a fucked up job. I think this has been my most vulgar post till date...I'm sorry but I just need to get all the frustration out from my system and this is the only way. It's also been about 3 days since I've talked to her also, but I don't think anything good will come out if I'm in this type of mood...sigh.

If time allowed me to reverse some past events,
I’d push for some much needed prevents.
I would toss away all of the pretense,
And present instead my arguments.

If it meant never writing another word,
Or keep myself from being heard.
If that’s what it takes for freedom to remain.
I’d silence the thoughts within my brain.

Whatever it is, whatever it takes,
I’d do anything for it, no matter the stakes.
If I can’t drink nor romanticize,
Where’s the excitement and surprise?

This prison haunts me,
Controlling what I say and do.
Bounded by chains I can't see,
Only in my dreams am I are free.

They may be the puppeteers,
But I am the hand that holds the shears.
I'll make sure no one ever interferes,
By then even of Mao I'll hold no fears.

It's times like this I stare into blank space,
And tears from anger race down my face.
My emotions an unsolved case,
My real soul leaves without a trace.

I WILL decide how I live my life,
So just stop filling me with all this strife,
It'll just fuel my anger that's already rife,
Lord over me I'll make sure to bring the knife.

2008-09-01T21:28:00.003+08:00

Just came back from work. Gosh was it a boring yet tiring day. I'm allocated to the telesales department, not really something I wanted to do but yea..I had no options to choose from. For like the first few hours before lunch break, I was given a computer and was told to read about the department I was working in and other crap. Jotham and I were so bored we kept going in to the pantry for refreshments. Then went for lunch at this place that sells Indo food, totally ripped us off man. Then went back to the office, we couldn't log back into our computer systems because we weren't given a Id and Password yet so we sat around doing nothing and chatting about the other staff. Then we were given these 2 thick books of what our job scope will entail to read, almost fell asleep reading it. I was seriously damn tired, especially because I couldn't even get to sleep before heading to work. Jotham was the lucky one..bastard took the seat which was surrounded by all the young lady staff..hahaha..ass never gonna forgive him for chucking me to the retard side of the department. The only thing I did today that could be labeled as "work" was photocopying some documents. I swear this is the first time I am worked in a company and felt so bored and TIRED. Hope tomorrow will be a much better and less boring day at work.

Here comes my insanities,
I start speaking in profanities.
My mind held by a thread,
As I'm sucked away by dread.

Lick this melted lollipop,
As it rolls down the drop.
Merry go round we go,
As I down another java jo.

Pull my hair and smack me,
For I've lost all my sweet sanity.
Spinning, and spinning,
I'm nowhere near living.

2008-09-01T00:33:00.002+08:00

While exploring a creek,
A young girl I spied on.
For it was by excruciating pain,
The sight I saw could kill me.

Hand in hand they walked together,
with her head slumped down.
There beside her was someone else,
A dreadful sight I couldn't bear to see.

It did more damage than a stranger could
There comes a day where I will forget,
But for now its embers burn,
And I let it consume me.

My eyes still pinned on her,
Train of thoughts raced through my mind.
Despite it all my feeling still stays for her,
But it's sadness which leaves trails behind.

2008-08-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

Yes...blogging again since "SOMEONE" asked me to. Anyway I've been wanting to blog for quite some time already but just too damn lazy to. Days before my last paper on the 27th were nuts man...no one would even expect that I still have exams going on. I went to play pool,jackpot,drink,movies and I only started studying the day before. But what the heck...I had all the tips ready and I already scored 40 marks out of the 50% from my previous ICAs so I just needed like 10 marks to pass. So yea...Wednesday was my exam and damn it was easy. MOST to MOST I think I could lose like only erm...10 marks? hahaha. Anyway went shisha after the paper with all the FBs...fun as usual. Ate dinner there as well...my "Boss Favorite" meal SUCKED...it was just an egg fried with cheese inside and fries as the side dish. Regretted ordering it. Shisha on the other hand was not too bad...had our favorite cherry mint and a flavor, apple mint. Not bad at all. Thursday...yesterday..went drinking with the BoBs at night, mongo madness. Carlsberg Special Brew, first time I got tipsy on 4 cans of beer. Well that's to be expected if the alcohol content of the Special Brew was 8.8% compared the normal can which is 4.1%. But even in that state I still managed to write a poem just thinking of that someone..hahaha. Anyway, today I went on a massive shopping spree, though the actual plan was to go meet her at the COMEX fair where she was working. Bought another formal shirt from ZARA and also a pair of gray slim fit jeans...not SKINNYs. Then headed to Queen's Couture and got a pair of dark denim Good Society skinnys. After which me and Jegan headed for Suntec to the COMEX fair. He went to find JK, Jotham and Nana who were working at the SONY VAIO counters selling laptops. Seriously, the main reason why that Indian Joker Jegan who thinks he's Mandingo(some black pornstar with a big...)hahahaha, is Shahirah Price, student from our SBM school, who was also working at the fair, only diff is that she was there to model. So I followed "Mandingo" and after that he followed me. In the end, the long wait to see her ended. Met her there and passed her the lozenges I got for her. Haven't seen her in school for at least a month or so already, and though I spent like only 3-4 mins there, I was happy. Yes, I am an idiot but...that's me. Went to eat with "Mandingo" at Marina Square, after that went to Club Marc and bought another bag for Monday's start of work. Came back home for dinner with my whole family...had a mix of Chinese and Indian food which my mom cooked. Watched Blood Diamond with my sisters, I swear the ending of the movie NEARLY brought me to tears. Great movie...just sent her a goodnight message...sigh...hope I wasn't disturbing her sleep or anything.

I’m drunk on the words I speak
With every sip of beer my mind becomes more oblique
This is my addiction, and the glass is running dry
In my dream I take a hit from your eyes,

I’m sure its just the alcohol
Working in my veins
That’s got the words you say
Driving me insane

And I’m getting high on your eyes
Each glance and I’m floating more
And I’m losing feeling, but its no surprise
Just a hit from your eyes brings me to the floor

This infatuation intoxicating me
But I fight the urge to be
Look in your eyes, and another hit will take it over
But once my addiction is fed, it’ll take me over

And is this all to life? Is this it?
Or if its love, is it really worth it?
But I’m sure its just the alcohol working in my veins
Making all the blood rush to my brain

2008-08-16T23:06:00.008+08:00

Since the Beijing 2008 Olympics have started few athletes have amazed me so far. The first was China's Liu Chunhong.

Damn was she a strong woman. She broke 3 weightlifting world IN 1 Day. All the other competitors were at their second or third attempt for Clean and Jerk lift while Liu Chunhong came out to stage and showed them what weightlifting was all about. She came on and at her first attempt, secured first place. Her second attempt broke the Olympic Record and her third attempt broke the World Record lifting 158 kilos(3 of me!). Not to mention she also broke the world record for the snatch lifting 128 kilos and also the total combined weight lifted by lifting a total of 286 kilos in 3 attempts. Now isn't that something.

The next person to amaze me is non other than U.S.A's top swimmer Michael Phelps.

Well although it was pretty much anticipated that he would come out tops for swimming in this year's Olympics, I never expected him to break all the World Records in the events he's participating in. So far he's participated in 7 events.

First Event - 400 m individual medley - 4:03.84 NEW WORLD RECORD
Second Event - 4 x 100 m freestyle relay - 3:08.24 NEW WORLD RECORD
Third Event - 200 m freestyle - 1:42.96 NEW WORLD RECORD
Fourth Event - 200 m butterfly - 1:52.03 NEW WORLD RECORD
Fifth Event - 4 x 200 m freestyle relay - 6:58.56 NEW WORLD RECORD
Sixth Event - 200 m individual medley - 1:54.23 NEW WORLD RECORD
Seventh Event - 100 m butterfly - 50.58 NEW OLYMPIC RECORD
Courtesy of Wikipedia.

His Eighth and final event is 4 x 100 m medley relay which I think another WORLD RECORD is going to be broken. I swear this guy is like a fish, his jump start already beats the rest of the swimmers by half a body, when he switches around the 50m mark, he pushes himself much deeper and further into the water than the rest to extend his lead and his freestyle technique is what I believe has reached the pinnacle of perfection. Michael Phelps is a near perfect swimmer.

The last athlete to amaze me came along today. His name is USAIN BOLT, hailing from Jamaica.

This guy is extraordinary, he has this aura around him that at the very moment you look at him, anyone would go "WOW, this guy looks really fast". I first saw him yesterday at the 100m heats where he easily thrashed the rest of the other competitors. Can you believe this guy is so fast, that at the 50m mark he has almost a 8m lead from the rest of the runners. This was what happened in the heat and what shocked me is the fact that he started jogging and waving to the crowd from the 70m mark. The timing for his heat was 9.99sec. Scientists have calculated that the fastest any human being can run 100m is 9.48sec and with careful calculations at the rate things are progressing, this is expected to only happen probably in the year 2162. But I doubt that today! USAIN BOLT is the fastest man that will ever walk this earth. Today he broke HIS own World Record of 9.72sec with a timing of 9.68sec and I'd like to stress, he jogged to the finish line again from the 70 or 80m mark. So yea...I'm still waiting to see the day he sprints the whole 100m. I think he'd make 9.48sec then. And he's still participating in the 200m race and the 4 x 100m relay. I don't really see anyone challenging him and the Jamaican team for the Gold this year for these events.

Yup, that's all I wanted to blog about today, my Olympic experience so far. Anyway, if there "happens" to be any video of USAIN BOLT in action today on YouTube or anywhere, I'm sure to post it up here.

2008-08-14T03:32:00.002+08:00

It's 3.33am in the morning and here I am blogging because I can't find anything else to do. Played tennis with Fuji and Ong today, had lunch with him at the Japanese Restaurant next to YCK tennis and squash centre. I swear the only thing that is nice over there is their Salmon Sushi. After that I headed over back to school to meet Phelan, been damn long since the 3 of us FBs have sat together and chatted. AHH! Damn pissed off...can't go clubbing, can't go drinking, exams are coming up and I've got to study and my damn attachments are starting on the 1st of September. Sucks big time. Anyway headed over to Godma's place in after leaving from school. Went for tea with her and Kimmy. Something damn funny happened. We went to this small cafe to eat. The waitress came over asked what we would like to drink. So me and my godma ordered just a normal Teh-O each but Kimmy wanted Seasons Ice Lemon Tea. The waitress said " no we don't have that." Then Kimmy asked for Coke. Waitress also said " no we also don't sell that." Then my godma got pretty pissed and asked sarcastically " SO...WHAT do you guys sell?" Waitress innocently asked "Anything,Whatever you want?". Mind you she was actually referring to the drinks called "Anything" and "Whatever" Could see that my godma misinterpreted this and thought the waitress was playing punk with her. Kimmy who understood the waitress said to my godma "I want anything." Godma boiled up and asked Kimmy to shut up thinking she was also playing punk with her and told the waitress to get her one Kopi-Siew Tai. I was over there laughing my ass off after the waitress left, my godma also scolded me asking what I was laughing at. I pointed at the "Anything" can on the counter to her and told her Kimmy did want the drink "Anything". She also started laughing her ass of after realizing her stupid misunderstanding of the waitress' words. Hahaha..anyway I'm heading to JB to do some grocery shopping with my mom tomorrow morning, don't know if I can wake up but what the hell...my mom will still wake me up to go. Oh by the way, was doing some dumb quizzes on facebook until I came across this line

"To you: A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else."

This is so very true, however only 1 person so far has been able to read me like a book..hahaha

I feels like...

A night sky without stars
An ocean without waves

A colorless world void of feelings.
I drift through wave after wave of emptiness.

My heart has no rhythm to beat,
No life to pump through my veins.

I have no words to speak,
No thoughts to write down.

I'm incomplete...

2008-08-06T01:38:00.001+08:00

私はエリザベス愛する

2008-08-05T21:53:00.004+08:00

Went to watch Money No Enough 2 yesterday night with the BoBs, Yi Liang and Andrew at Yishun Golden Village. First half of the show was DAMN BLOODY funny, being serious here..first time I have ever laughed watching a local movie especially one done by Jack Neo. The second half where they started going having trouble with their lives was quite sad, but I thought it was too exaggerated. I mean how can 1 family experience so much misfortune in such a short period of time? First Mark Lee had his bee pollen vitamins contain some chemicals and has the Singapore Health Authority close down his business, next thing his wife embezzles money to help him pay up the loan sharks and ends up in jail. Then Jack Neo, who was dabbling with property, investing in land and stocks, if what I read on the subtitles was right, his stock broker ran away with $450k of his money, and not even 10 seconds later, he received another call saying the clients who wanted to buy his land for $2 Million had stopped negotiations and canceled the deal. So in about 5 minutes of this scene, he lost a total of $2.45 Million...amazing! Soon after they were all in debt or bankrupt, their mother went senile, although for this part of the movie, I felt quite sympathetic towards the mother. The saddest scene was when they showed the grandmother crying at the gate of the Old Folks Home and Rayson Tan just dropped her off and literally ran from her. She was so distraught she collapsed and had a stroke. Next thing she was in the hospital in critical condition needed blood transfusion and the hospital's blood bank had run out of her type and only Jack Neo and his wife had to same blood type as her but the couldn't donate because he had liver problem and his wife was anaemic. What made the situation more dramatic...Jack Neo's daughter in the movie had a fatal car accident on the same night and also needed blood transfusion. And COINCIDENTLY, she had the same blood type as the Jack's mother. So there started the massive fight for the last packet of blood left in the whole hospital, and just at this point in time, the mother woke up from her deep sleep to see her children quarreling over who should be saved. She used her last bit of strength and pulled the plug on herself committing suicide.

Yi Liang and Andrew were crying buckets of tears when this part was going on, I was just there looking around and found almost everyone around with tissues in their hands or wiping their tears on their sleeves and I thought to myself...I must be one heartless bastard to have not shed a single tear. But what the heck...it's just a movie. And yea...I still don't think a single family can experience so much misfortune over such a short time span. Anyway...Andrew came over my place to stay..played command and conquer kane's wrath till 4am then we went to sleep. Woke up at around 2 today, went to the bank to activate my frozen account so I'll have a bit more money to spend besides the pathetic allowance I got this month. Went to cut my hair as well...damn bloody short...I look like a kid with an army man's hairstyle...hahaha...but I've wanted something short for some time already. Tomorrow I'm playing tennis with "Wednesday"...basket..said he's gonna laugh at my hair tomorrow when he sees it. Okay I'm tired of writing already...that's all for today...

Eyes of chocolate
Sparkling bright,
Slightly darker is the night.

2008-08-03T00:08:00.003+08:00

hi...I'm back after a month's absence. Damn stressed over my projects which was why I was busy for almost the whole month of July. Imagine me not even having the time to visit my godma for like 3 weeks when before July I was practically there everyday. And after 3 weeks of slogging out day and night..I'm finally at the end of it all. MONDAY..the last day of presentation..perseverance! just 1 more day! Mao is back ah...damn stressed...almost go whacked today for coming home late...but Mao has cooled down...I guess my mom's miracle chill pill had a strong after effect. Came home he just said this to me

MAO: "3 hours of sleep is enough for you?"
Me: "yea...I'm quite used to it..sorry for coming home late yesterday"
MAO: "Go to your room and sleep."

And after I woke up..everything was back to normal...was having dinner and watching his usual wrestling with him while translating what the wrestlers were talking about to simpler english for him to understand. Supposed to have gone for midnight show now with my godbro...but tickets sold out. Bored. So yea..I'll be ending off with this...until next time...

I hope for you to notice me
Is too blind to see?
What is it that's wrong with me?
I do like you, in case you can't see

I would never be untrue
But what do i have to do?
I only want to be with you
Why does love make me so blue?

You make me feel so unreal
And then, there's a new deal
It's almost like I don't exist
Just like I was never missed

I'm just like you I'm human, too
But you'd rather have a John, or a Matthew
Is it that I'm not enough for you?
Please tell this is not true

I dream of the day when you'll look my way
And walk my way then I'll have something to say
I know these words seems untrue
But that's all I really want from you

But for now, I'll walk away waiting for that day

2008-07-02T01:29:00.002+08:00

hahaha...today was Jotham's 20th birthday and boy was it a fun occasion. Went to Seoul Garden to eat...bloody hell...thought birthday boy was treating but yea...punished him for making us pay for ourselves...but cant blame him...Seoul Garden IS freaking expensive bill was about $300++ i think cause there was 14 of us. Anyway...just before leaving Seoul Garden after we all had cake, there was SOME left overs and we didn't want to bring it back so what did we do??? First xiao pang full nelsoned jotham so he couldn't move his arms..and then i came running with a spoon full of cake and just when i was about to rub it all over jotham's face...xiao pang lost hold and jotham broke free...the worst part about it..when he broke free from the hold...i got punched in the face..LOL...how pathetic...next attempt..Hong da, Ji, Xiao Pang and Fan grabbed Jotham and by all his fours so he couldn't run...i quickly dashed forward and rubbed the cake all over his face...REVENGE. Next thing we did...again the same 4 people grabbed jotham just outside of marina seoul garden...and i took the wasabi which hong da gave me...no idea where he got it from but nvm...i rubbed it into jotham's nose...mouth...all over his face...hahaha...damn fun! He kept spitting it and blowing it out at me though...then ji and all betrayed me..they let jotham go and he grabbed me and rubbed wasabi on my face as well. Then next prank we pulled on jotham...hong da boought these mini party pops and we all popped it in his shirt...hahaha. Next we asked seoul garden if they could sell us their eggs...they didn't but allowed us to take some...so 5 of us each grabbed 2 eggs...Jotham also had eggs with him...no idea how he got it but 1 of the 5 must have betrayed us..hahaha...but anyway...xiao pang took off his tee and ran towards jotham and pinned him to the floor...did some wrestling move which was damn funny...then we all smashed the eggs on jotham...hahahaha...rocks man! so he was all eggy and smelly...and jun kai said something to hong da which made hong da chase after him...bloody bugger jun kai ran for his life man...he just kept running and coming back which made everyone want to target him...then at the 4th attempt...darren or darrel...cant remember his name...ambushed him and grabbed him...jotham then pinned him to the floor and rubbed the leftover eggs whites which was all over the floor on jun kai...i swear it was the most dirtiest and funniest thing i've seen so far this year. After that xiao pang, me, bennedict and derrick took a cab back.

And so in the midst of what was happening today...liz msged me...when i saw the msg i was quite surprised as well as happy..hahahaha..gosh..she told me she had a match today! and i MISSED it..gosh...sigh...but it was jotham's birthday...couldn't miss it as well...so sorry liz..sigh. Again another post of hers which says stuff that sounds that she has someone in mind already but even if there is...i'll fight for her...hahahaha...

If it could be
Just you and me
I would make you happy
Especially when you're feeling crappy

We would take long walks
On the beach
But now it's just all talks
This love is out of reach

Though we live
Far from each other
We are friends like anyone could be
maybe even sister and brother

Walks in the park
Hand in hand
Walks on the beach
Foot in sand

SIGH............

2008-06-21T01:00:00.002+08:00

Gosh...it's been a tiring week with all the various activities going on for me. Jia Juan stayed over at my place for 4 full days. Poor bugger looked so depressed and dejected. Guessed it's because he couldn't get the girl he was waiting 5 years for. Only thing I could do for him was keep him company the full 4 days and try to cheer him up. Brought him for movie, bowling, billiards..everything that could cheer him up I tried. Hope you feel better JJ. Alright, so Thursday and today(technically it's Sat already cause it's past 12am)I was doing my entrepreneurship project, made extremely little progress on Thursday because we had no mood to do anything though I did quite a fair bit myself, Jun Kai was playing with Jegan some lame game and accidentally switched off the computer so his work was not saved. Today was much better, finished more work though there is actually really a lot left to do. Then Liz messaged me to bring the DVDs I burnt for her today, so I went back home to get them and came back to school. Gosh...the things I would do for girls. Maybe it's because I just can't reject any requests from girls...it's been like that ever since primary school. Hmm..was sitting with her almost the whole time this evening just chatting and waiting for Fbuddy "Tuesday" Phelan Phua. I think now that she's THE most prettiest girl I've met so far in my life, her smile, her laugh, her eyes...everything about her seems so fine. Anyway...after dinner at Serangoon Gardens, I decided to take a bus back to AMK interchange, ended up taking the wrong bus and got lost at a godforsaken town called Punggol. Had to call Aunty Jane to come pick me up because I had no cash on me to take cab back and nor was there any train back. Gosh...and of all people to see in the car...it's Uncle Alan...scolded me all the way back to Yishun. Had supper with Kane near my place then I walked back with him and then here I am back at home. Trying out my dug up old webcam and using it now cause it seems like everyone i know is using one. Alright that's all for today, tomorrow is a day of sports for me...soccer at 8am and tennis later and probably a haircut if I am not too lazy..haha
Alright..I'll blog whenever I feel like blogging again.

2008-06-15T05:22:00.000+08:00

hahaha..i'm bloggin using my new phone..so excited i got this phone..sony ericsson G900..it's the best phone i've used my whole life so far..am actually at my god-bro's place now..but he's asleep..only jia juan and chao are here beside me playin some funny map on warcraft 3..hahaha..it's some fishing game and they're so excited about it..gosh..damn sad now..i think my laptop has got a virus.. now scanning..been laggy the past few days..think it's best if i reformat it. gosh..i can't understand why i keep forgetting to bring the japanese drama serials for liz..sigh so many things happenin that makes me unable to make my move for liz..first it's joezer..if he knew about what i feel for liz now..he would definitely be damn pissed with me man..then the thing i just found out is that‭ she has someone in mind already..sad..no choice..guess i jus have to give up or wait ..alright it's almost 7 in the morning already..that's all for today's post..until next‭ time..lol i just hope anyone who knows liz doesn't find out about this blog otherwise i'll be screwd..

2008-06-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

HAH...yest was my 19th birthday and it was smashing man! Went to MoS to club with the FBuddies, Elizabeth, Apple and Nich Soon. Went to zouk initially but the "WONDERFUL" bouncers over there forbid any more girls to get in and having 2 girls in our group...we couldnt just leave them behind right? Yes...so we made our way down to MoS. Opened a house pour bottle of rum and had coke and cranberry as the mixers. But before downing any of that...we each had 1 tequila shot. Phelan and I were going 1 for 1...whatever he drinks...I drink..so we just kept downing and downing alcohol..same for Fuji. We did some dancing after that at smoove and that was when I think I realised that I've fallen for Elizabeth...she's the girl whom I talked about in my last post...the girl my captain is going after. It may just be my own thinking but it's the second time since I've really found myself attracted to a girl. The first time was Ms.Chelsea which ended up bad. And now..Ahh..my gosh..if only she did not grab on to my hands yesterday then i probably wouldn't be like this now. And dancing with her just made me feel the most guilty I've ever felt my whole life..I like the girl my captain is going after and I am dancing with her now..how can I be doing this..this was what was going through my mind the whole time I was around her. Sigh...anyway..back to my party..We went back to Phelan's place at around 4.30am where I got the biggest surprise of my life...I was in Phelan's room when suddenly Fuji asked me to hurry down..I thought they were gonna do something TO me...not For me...they actually bought a LOVELY cake from NYDC which tasted FANTASTIC. 2 expensive cakes I had in a day and the 3rd for my birthday this year. And of course...a fantastic cake had to go with fantastic wine. I brought a bottle of iced wine from my place which was a 2004 vintage and boy was it smooth. The best wine I've had in a long long time. After that we played Mahjong till early morning like 8.30am. Never even won once..how bad was my luck man..hahaha..but nevermind. Went back to Phelan's room to get some sleep but I just couldn't...especially with Elizabeth sleeping over too. So I was taking periodical naps. All of us woke up around 12pm..hmm..something fun happened then which made me really happy..hahaha..shall not say what...but yea..then went to eat Wheelock to eat Sakae Sushi buffet, our table was the most quiet because we were all so dead tired and as Nich Soon would say...Shagged..hahaha. Went back to Yishun had to wait for like 3 hours before I could go to Aunty Jane's place. Sat down to chat with her a while...checked out pics from her Melbourne trip. Then here I am now...blogging..anyway...I'm tired...gonna have my Tom Yam cup noodles and head to watch Germany vs Croatia..hhahaha...

Burning a hole in my heart
I don't know where to start
If you only knew
I'd be happy, hoping for you to be my beau

This I can't guarantee
But when I look into thee
Your sweet sparkling eyes
I wonder if you're just being nice

A day with you like yesterday
Left me without words to say
Just give me the chance
Let's dance the last dance

2008-06-07T00:26:00.003+08:00

This road I travel seems so long.
Most times it feels I don’t belong.
I don’t fit in most anywhere.
I cannot and I must not share.

This pain that is so deep inside
Feels so unreal that I must hide.
My history, the things I’ve done,
Are a mystery shared with none.

Who will love such a one as me
And, like a dove help me to see
The olive leaf...the hope it brings,
However brief, of heart’s yearnings?

Will joy at last come my way
In whispered words here to stay?
Perched like birds upon the bough?
To my heart relief endow?

Will joy stay, bringing sweet relief
From actions past causing grief?
Will the decay within my heart
From past guilt cause joy to part?

Like a torn quilt is thrown away,
Unmendable, in disarray,
I feel so unacceptable,
In everyone's eyes disrespectable.

Before your wisdom you impart,
Do not judge nor accuse my heart.
Disabuse your ill perception
Before you spout my imperfection.

Don't begrudge how far I’ve come.
You just see what’s left undone,
Not knowing where I have begun,
Or all the battles I have won.

I am unworthy of God’s great love
So freely given from above.
He is the One who has to set me free
To be what I was made to be.

I wish I can be forgiven.

2007-09-20T21:55:00.000+08:00

sigh...today was my first driving practical and i think that i've failed miserably. A lot of UNFORTUNATE things happened while i was driving. Ok let's start off with the first thing i had to do, which was moving the car back and forth, basically it's just switching to first gear to move forward then to reverse gear to move backwards. Simple stuff. Next I was asked to drive out on to the second lane of the road and not even thirty seconds into driving, i caused an engine stall at the pedestrian crossing. Few rounds around the circuit at the driving school and suddenly the worst thing that could happen to anyone driving for the first time in their lives happened. A motorcyclist also learning how to ride a bike was signalling right, so i slowed down to let him move off first, when BAM...he falls off his bike right in front of my car when it was moving. I got the shock of my life and emergency breaked immediately, gosh. Again before moving off i engine stalled. The average engine stalls i would've experienced the whole day would be at least 3 stalls for every round around the circuit made and each round took about 3 mins, so for the whole 1 hour of my driving pract i would've caused at least 40 engine stalls roughly...how bad is that. SHIT. LOL...but it was quite exciting all in all driving for the first time and i bet no one else would've experienced a first lesson of driving like i did today. HAHAHA...let's look foward to another day of driving tomorrow...let's hope it'll be better!

Here's a few movie reviews of the latest movies I've watched:

At first look, i thought this would be a dumb action show to watch cause it looks like a chinese kung fu dude is going go up against a british muscled-up brawler and that the caucasian dude would definitely win which is usually always the case and that the plot would be some cop chasing after the assassin for killing his wife and kids and he would be seeking revenge on the assassin. But thanks to my wonderful bobs who persuaded me to watch the movie, i have to say the story has an interesting twist which i will not give a clue on as it is a major plot point. This film is red meat. It has no pretensions of quality and dialog is minimal, which goes along with the story. Compared to other action movies, this movie requires more brains, has little humor and could be consider a little slow but it is really worth your time. I give it 4/5.

Here's a movie that i thought would be as funny as Dodgeball because of how similar the posters and the theme looked. But to my horror..it didn't even come anywhere close to funny. Unfortunately, the jokes flat, lame and packed no punch, and the saddest part about the show is that Maggie Q had to kiss the fat ass lead actor who thought he was Jack Black. The only hilarious thing about this show was Christopher Walken's dresses which really looked they were taken out of Elton John's closet from the 70s or 80s. I give it 2/5.

There are more movies to watch so look out for more reviews when i'm done watching them. That's all I guess for today...Buaizz peeps

2007-09-14T21:35:00.000+08:00

WOWAWEEWAH...well look who's back and here i thought i said i wasn't going to blog anymore well what the heck. Last term was pretty bad but this term...it's all gonna get better cause i've realised something, life is not a bed of roses. Let's stop all the crappy emo shit that was going on and become...i have no idea. Ok...let's just live life to its fullest...do things we've never done before and never regret it...hahahaha. OK...forget all this nagging, it's the holidays now for me and tomorrow i am off for a splendid trip with all my BOBs, eh well at least 4 of them..i hope. LOL, so the plan is this..we'll be bunking at jj's place for the first night and then setting sail for our fishing trip on sunday then monday will be slack day with all the BOBs and tuesday it's back home. What a plan...couldn't live life any better than that...hahaha. Wednesday till Friday I'll have my driving lessons.

So far it's been a 'fruitful' term break, watched a lot of DVDs, spent a hell lot of money on food and hibernating. Yes...just like a European Hedgehog or a Bear, i've been doing nothing much but sleeping and eating though exact hibernating is usually done in winter and the hibernating animal usually doesn't wake up for days or weeks on ends. Let's just leave it as that...

Alright, I just wanted to check back into blogger to revive my god forsaken pathetic blog which has been left in the cold. So until next time...hahaha...you stay classy blog readers...erm...ok that don't seem quite right...Ron Burgundy uses it better...hahaha..

2007-06-08T21:13:00.000+08:00

Today had it's ups and downs. Went to school at 2...dad dropped me off. Had a test at 3 which was damn easy. Went to eat at 4 with Jotham and Jun Kai...later Chee, Hong Da and Ah Bin came...lol. Again they started with their chat about prison break. They're really fanatics about the series man gosh...if only they watched Heroes. Sat at the canteen till about 5.30 when we decided to go home and then come out to meet again. Ended sitting at YCK bus interchange for about an hour deciding where to go. In the end they decided to go play billiards, me and Ah Bin...LOL...he's my lieutenant according to him, didn't want to go cause we would be bored stiff if we had gone and moreover we had just gone yest with them to play billiards. Javier who's supposedly my "Captain" was also there...3 of us went to eat again this time behind YCK swimming pool. Ate and sat there talking rubbish till around 7.45pm. They decided to go back to school to see their volleyball team-mates well it was Javier's team-mates not Ah Bin's. I went to see my tennis-mates and there I saw them training so hard for IVP...something which I failed to achieve this year. Felt so darn depressed straight away...then I saw her. That made me even more depressed. I mean seeing her made me feel happy but after seeing her and him there...both of them so close, my heart just sank. I think that was the saddest moment of my entire life. I just wanted to leave the court as soon as I could...called Ah Bin and Javier and we left in a cab home. They had plans to celebrate Chee's birthday later at clarke quay...I wished I could've gone with them...that way I could've drowned all my sorrows in the booze but my dad's back and I've got to spend some QUALITY time with him since he's only here until tomorrow afternoon. I'm that damn sad now...my 18th birthday's in a few days time and I feel nothing about it...it's just sadness and regret that's filling me right now and pain and anguish that's flowing out. I don't even know if that last thing I typed meant anything or even sounded right. I don't care...gosh. It's gonna be a sad 18th birthday for me....

ADVICE for you people who are in love out there: NEVER...and I mean NEVER take your own sweet time to tell the person you love that you love him/her. If you like the person...go all out and never let him/her slip away.

That's all today guys and girls...until next time...maybe there won't even be a next time...gosh...AHHHHHH...nevermind...BYE

2007-06-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

Gosh...facing serious financial difficulty now. Seriously went over my budget for the month of May and I am suffering for it now. Dad hasn't given me my allowance and I have a lot of stuff to pay for. Particulary this coming Sunday for my chalet...I need to get all the food stuffs, drinks and everything else. I haven't got this month's handphone bill as well which is a bummer. Just bought a thumbdrive for school and DVD-Rs, I still need to get more CD-Rs as well which is gonna cost me another 30 bucks. I've not even passed the first week of June and I'm broke...gosh. Calculating and calculating made me realised I spent close to $800 for May which is makes my heart ache each time I mention it. $350 goes on transportation, food and my phone bill. I have no idea where $450 more went to....I should have kept the bills. Maybe this month I shall do that...keep a book record of whatever I purchase and have spent on for the day. Money is not easy to earn, for 4 long hours of work I only get paid $40...not good at all. I would have to work 80 hours to earn back whatever I've spent for the month of May.

Sigh..anyway I've just finished watching Jackass Number 2 and Blades of Glory.

Jackass Number 2 rocked my socks off...I mean the stunts they did were totally insane and funny. Stunts like "Firehose Rodeo","The Brand", "The Gaunlet" and a few more were stunts that I actually enjoyed watching but a few were just too damn sick and disgusting.

Blades of Glory is a must see. If you enjoy Ferrell you will love this film. It is just a feel good laugh out loud comedy. There is not a bad performance in the movie. It was mildly funny in a sort of creepy/annoying way. This movies fits perfectly with my taste in comedies like Talladega Nights, Zoolander, Anchorman, Old School and Starsky and Hutch. If you like these kinds of films you will love this film.

That's all for today..I'm signing off with 7 bucks left for the rest of the week...LOL

2007-06-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

Light the paper, wait for the all clear,
Like a fuse I burn for you dear,
Like a flower that yearns for moisture,
My roots are tangled and I’ve got no choice dear.

You’ve got to remember, I got a heart condition,
Just listen closer, every fourth beat is missing
If it ain’t missing then it’s skipping.
It’s good for nothing is it good enough for you?

I hate to see your heart breaking.
But I’ll hold it safe in my hands.
I don’t know if my words can bind it together,
But that’s all I know how to do.

I ain’t got much, but a lopsided smile and a lovesick recital.
A love so surreal, it seems mystical.
I ain't got much, but mumbled comforts and sweet nothings.
A love will you accept from this foolish thing?

2007-05-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

Mixed emotions these few weeks...a lot going on lately...finally remembered my google account to access my blog dashboard. The M'sian Army thing has just been settled by my dad, so according to him I have deferred their NS but once poly ends, they'll be expecting me back. My sis just finished her op on tues, thank the lord it went well and she's recuperating now. Tests giving me a lot of stress too including all these projects, and I just can't seem to find the motivation to continue with my course. It's so boring...it's like I'm being forced to study unwillingly all these rubbishing modules. School's becoming a sad place too. Drifting away from the only 2 people I get along in class with but I can't help it..my class is too chinese and I always feel like the odd one out. I'm out of tennis until further notice (plus I can't do shit now cause my ankle is swelling again and I suspect that I have tennis elbow), which was my only true source of fun in school. Another thing that's bothering me is that I may be facing lotsa competition for Ms.C and I'm afraid I'll lose out because I'm nothing much. But I have faith in myself...I can't be that weak especially since I've been chasing her for the longest time already so FIGHT ON!!

Birthday coming soon as well just 10 more days...nothing to brag about...not doing much for it either.

Anyway here's what I've been up to:

Watched this DVD: Idiocracy starring Luke Wilson...this movie is hilarious as hell, can't beat Jackass though...well nothing can beat that...but it's still good

Read this book too...it's just plain Bart Simpson from start till end...how to cheat in tests...what food is good in life...how to skip classes without getting caught...it's a book that you should read if you've got nothing else better to do with your free time.

Guess that's all i'm gonna blog today...be sure to get more reviews from movies like Jackass the Second and Blades of Glory

2007-03-25T00:10:00.000+08:00

It's officially Kane's 18th birthday today...how envious of him am I. Gosh, my time will only come in 3 more miserable long months. Monday's the big celebration...all of us are so excited especially Kane I guess..or me? hahaha. His mom gave him 2 bottles of liquor, XO and Martel so I guess pretty much we're gonna be tipsy at his party. I think we've got almost everything bought already...except the butter and sotong...haha. Dang, I just sent my PS2 for re-modification few hours ago and I'm starting to miss it already. Have to wait till next Thursday to collect it. Can you believe it cost me $165 just to change the chipset, gosh and that's not even the latest one cause my set can't handle the latest mod-chip, it is TOO DAMN OLD. PS3 is out but I'm not intending to get it until the pirated games are in production, and I assume by then I'd have saved up enough to get myself one..HAHAHA. ARGHH...bored bored bored...think I'm probably gonna sleep early tonight and head to Kane's place early tomorrow...so that's all for today...it's a short post I know...but that's all I've got to say!

BUAIZZZZZZZ...

2007-03-16T00:23:00.000+08:00

gosh...freaking sick. The worst sickness that could attack a mortal being is the flu. Makes your nose so stuffy and uncomfortable. Worse thing is that whenever I get the flu, I become Mr.Grumpy Mumpy. Felt so sick today that it affected my shopping. Kept dropping everything off the shelves because I kept sneezing and this made me feel more irritated so I didn't bother to do any and let my sis do all the shopping. So much more stuff I want to get yet they're so hard to find. This is going to be a stupid post because I'm just gonna state what's on my shopping list.

From head to toe here it is -

TOPS:
Stussy Folded Tee
Stussy Electric Co. Tee
Threadless Ghetto hoody
Penguin Polo Tee

BOTTOMS:
Dickies Work Pants (Black, Brown)
Levi's Jeans

SHOES:
Adidas Forum
Adidas Metro Attitude
Adidas sl 72
Onitsuka Tiger Mexico
Puma Becker's

yup...that's more or less it. Kane's birthday is coming up soon...just 9 more days and 5 more days till my results are released. So it'll either be my enjoying myself with all the booze celebrating good results or wallowing and drowning myself in booze ashamed of the bad results. Alright...I got to go sleep people...I'm ill remind you so I need plenty of rest.

2007-03-13T17:58:00.000+08:00

sheesh...my holidays are really starting to get boring. All I'm doing is getting sick, watching DVDs and playing video games. Though last week was pretty alright though. Went to Kane's house to stay, then he came over to mine to stay, then I went back the next day to his place. 2 best friends having holidays and have nothing to do. Though he did have his gf to go out with unlike me...so ALONE...so SINGLE...hahaha. Last Saturday night I went clubbing at Fluid, gosh...girls there are damn sexy and all that but seriously sluty and sleazy, not at all my type. Went with my siblings, Dan..Cin and Mich, and classmates, JK, JJ, Ben, Xiao Yang. Dan, Cin and Mich were just there to CHAPERON me as they said. Saw a few people I should not have seen there..and a few whom I haven't met since my pri sch days. Danced a bit, DJ was a bit crappy...replayed a few songs over and over again and it seemed like he just downloaded some Best of EA SPORTS songs. Not boasting here but I think I might even have a better collection than him though Dan would thrash him bad...dude has bout 1,000++ cds if I'm not wrong...maybe even more. James came over yesterday...we had a Rocky Anthology marathon and felt so pumped up after watching them all or maybe I was the only one feeling pumped up.

Gosh...it's gonna be another boring week for me. I think I'm just gonna go out by myself..got some reading to do too..so maybe I'll get a latte at starbucks or something and chill out reading over there.

Here's a lame sick joke before I go off,

Boy A: "The Phantom Menace is in my pants!"
Boy B: "You put the toy in your pants?!?!"
Boy A: "I was referring to my penis"

2007-03-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

SHEESH...I've been sleeping too much since the end of my exams, yes I did say I was going to hibernate the other day but I didn't expect to sleep so much. Woke up at 1am Friday morning after sleeping for the whole of Thursday. Watched NBC's Heroes which my sis passed to me, 17 episodes...not the full season though cause it hasn't even ended in the US. Damn addicted to it...it's quite cool though a bit exaggerated in a few parts and the acting a bit weak but I would give it a 8/10. Watched all 12 episodes from 2am till 7am, that's when I slept again and woke up at 3pm. Watched the remaining 5 episodes before I headed for Kane's place to stay. Played dota...a game I definitely suck in. Kane watched Heroes on my laptop later on and I played tower defenses. Both of us slept at around 4am. I woke up around 2pm then next morning...Kane was already out of bed and out. Had a splitting headache...felt so giddy I had to go back to the room to rest after washing up. Kane bought lunch back with Yi Liang. Kane played dota again...he wanted to test out a bug that Liang told him there was in the game. Kane left the house at 4 to meet his gf, I was waiting for Dan to come pick me up to his place to play PS2, also wanted to bring it back home cause I'd be so bored during the holidays. Reached his place around 5...played Winning Eleven till 7 afterwhich I transferred Heroes to his computer hard drive. So he started watching it and I packed up to go off home. And here I am now blogging, think I'm going to meet Kane later for supper. Since I'm so free now I remember I said I'd bring a someone to the Yishun Dam to check out the scenery...hahaha. Alright...I gotta go, let's hope this holiday will be exciting.

Check out........................................

2007-03-01T16:43:00.000+08:00

OOOHHH YEAH...exams have finally ended for me, gosh...I'm so free now. I'm so free that I don't even know what's there to do with all the free time I have. That's a worry...I do NOT want to have my holidays spent at home pigging out and watching tv, well that's actually a good thing but it's only going to make me more lazy than I already am. Currently waiting for a job to work at "The Show Company" with mich's hubby, don't know when that is going to happen. Gosh, think I have to get to kinokuniya to get some books to read, maybe visit Laser Flair to rent some movies to watch...I have no idea. Oh yeah...got a new blog layout/skin, just wanted something different...got bored with the whole B.A.P.E thing. Though this layout may only be temporary until I do up my own skin, that is if I'm remember to do one or if I'm not too lazy.

OKOK...first things first, I have to catch up on my sleep. So I'm gonna go hibernate in my room, weather seems so fine to do so too..it's all chilly and cozy. Here's something Cin's hubby, Dan, shared with me on YouTube, listen to how this Indian dude get's owned on live radio, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6RtufnERIc. I'm pasting the URL cause I have no idea why I can't embed YouTube Vids like before...if anyone knows please kindly teach me.

2007-02-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning, felt damn cranky. Dreamt of 4D somemore, very unusual cause I don't even like it and I think it's just stupid, what is the probability of the numbers you've just bought that's going strike? ok, I definitely did not have the mood to study today, just very frustrated. Mom came home from church without calling home to tell me that she's bringing her friend back, gosh and I was just in boxers, how embarassing...got even more pissed off. Cin called...said to meet at Vivo City around 7 plus for dinner. Wanted to study a bit before going but the mood still wasn't there so I played some handphone games and lay on my bed. Got ready only at 6 when Mich was expecting me there already. Got the mich's place at 7, mom called to say she was walking back from church. Picked her up later by cab around 7.15. Then met Cin and Dan before heading up for dinner at No Signboard Seafood. Place was crowded I tell you but damn lousy service, we reserved a table for 8.30 and it was already 8.25 when we reached...so we were expecting our table to be ready. Turns out we had to wait another 20mins more cause it was full house. So we got our table later, ordered chilli kangkong, black pepper venison, some steamed fish with salted veg, spring onion and garlic crabs and chilli crabs. They were supposed to be famous for their crabs but we found nothing special about them, everyone got tummy aches after eating the chili crabs. Came back home straight and here I am, very stressed about Java exam and DCN, not to mention Management cause after reading the past year paper today it seemed every question was a case study question. Tomorrow I shall perservere and study as how I did for Econs and make sure I get an A for this module, I must not get anything lower than a B for any of my Business modules!

Partying is going to start this 2nd March, got a list of things I need to do. Alright, that's all for today I guess..goodnight folks!

2007-02-23T13:06:00.000+08:00

Hey there...gosh...haven't had the time to blog about my trip to KL since I came back. But fret not...cause here I am.

I'll make it short and brief..here's the whole thing:

Day 1: Dan drove me and my mom at 6.30am in the morning to Copthorne Orchid Hotel to wait for the bus that was taking us to M'sia. We reached there at 7am when the bus was scheduled to departure at 8.30am. Lucky for me and my mom, this bus company offered a free coffee-cake breakfast at the Palm's cafe. Bus came, and it was those new double decker buses. I thought the inside was going to be damn prestigious and hoping for what Cindy said that it would be like travelling in a Merz and gosh, how dashed my hopes were when I got up the bus. It was really damn cramped though there were 2 TVs. All in all the bus ride was not so bad, took about 4hrs plus to reach KL which is rather fast by road.

Reached KL...had a short nap because I didn't sleep on the bus (I couldn't because the seats were that small!!). My 5th aunt was the first to visit us but that was because she was gambling upstairs since morning itself. Came and complained that she lost about 200 ringit. My cousin later brought me upstairs to gamble as well...lost 30 ringit on my first day itself...bad sign! Went for dinner with dad and mom to Sushi King, dad got damn pissed with some gays that were sitting at the next table (he hates gays). Went back home...watched The Marine and Casino Royale with my dad and fell asleep after.

Day 2: Woke up at 2pm, aircon was damn shiok..hahaha. My 5th aunt and cousin came again. They came to take us to my 4th aunt's place. But before that, my 1st aunt and more of my cousins and my nephews(damn hyper-active) came to visit us for a while. So later when I went to my 4th aunt's place, me and my 2 favourite cousins decided to go out instead of staying home. Wanted to go watch Ghost Rider but all the timings were much too late so we ended up walking around the shopping centre doing nothing and talking nonsense. When we were on the way back, my cousin tried to do a drift with his car...LOL, mind you he's only 19 and he already has a car. Damn violent, he was going at 130Km/h and I swear I would have pissed in my pants if his car could do a drift. Went back to gamble somemore before going back home, won some cash..hahaha...Reached home, watched Curse of the Golden Flower, really a dumb show. Jay Chou's acting sucked, Chow Yun Fat was too crazy as an Emperor and Gong Li had her boobs pushed up so much it was very distracting.

Day 3: I had to go back today, wished I could've stayed longer but I got my exams on in just a few days time and I haven't really prepared. Got on the early afternoon bus, saw this damn huge malay family boarding the bus and I told my mom: " We're definitely not going to have a peaceful ride". I'm not being racist or anything here but sometimes when they're in a large group, they tend to get pretty loud. This I have to admit was the WORST busride I have ever had in all my years travelling to M'sia and back. First, the bus driver didn't stop driving for 3 hours straight and I needed to piss real bad...I mean REALLY BAD. It was so bad, my bladder started hurting and I couldn't move, then I started breaking out in cold sweat and I almost fainted and my mini-me started to feel numb, YES that was how bad it was. Imagine all the cursing and swearing I made in front of my mom. She even suggested that I pee into a plastic bag or bottle but NO WAY was I gonna do something so wrong. Got to a toilet after holding it all up for more than 3 hours when the bus stopped for dinner. And just when I thought I could get some sleep on the bus, a malay lady started cursing damn loudly in the bus in malay, then the ang moh sitting with his singaporean chinese gf turned back and shouted: " Hey, there is no reason why you should go on swearing in May-Lay(that's how it sounded when he said malay)" I got up straight and looked back wondering what happened. After eavesdropping for like 10mins, I realised the malay lady was angry with the chinese girl because she couldn't move about at her seat because of the chinese girl's reclined seat. The chinese girl then said:" If you wanted me to move my seat up, you could just wake me up and tell me, I have no problem with it but that doesn't give you the right to curse me." Then the malay lady retaliated:" I think it's right to curse you, don't think you got ang moh bf means you big, and please stop slanging la, you pretending not to be singaporean is it!". Chinese girl:" Please I don't want any trouble here, you have a grand child here beside, you think it's right to be cursing in front of her?" Malay lady:" That's my own problem, she's my grandchild not yours and it's right that you should be cursed!" Ang Moh:" Hey, we're not looking for trouble here, we didn't mean anything" Malay boy who comes from the front: " Hey you shut up...you wait...you come singapore I F*** you!" Another malay boy:" You F***ing cb bastard...you think you paid for all the seats is it? We did too ok, so f*** off you bastard! Just wait...we reach singapore, I F*** you man!" Violent...but this was quite funny in a sense cause it sounded like the phone recording I heard of the Ah Beng and Bangla fight so I laughed quietly in my heart. The ang moh and his chinese gf then turned away and ignored everything. Soon, all was quiet. Reached S'pore only at 2am in the morning, bloody busride took 8 hrs to come to Singapore, I could've gone to Thailand and come back within that period of time, hahaha. Anyway...that is all for the trip.

Yest had my Stats exam...did ok...maybe a C+ or a B. This morning had my Econs exam, think I did quite ok though I was the first to leave the exam hall, maybe I can get a B or B+ or if im lucky enough, an A..hahaha.

Well that's all I have to post today, I'm at Kane's place chillin a while before I go home to study again.

Thanks for reading my long boring posts!

2007-02-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

Here's what happened today, I woke up in the morning looking like one of those characters from Dragon Ballz. What I saw later in my mom's room kept me in stitches the whole day. My mom dyed her hair by herself, apparently she said she had too many white strands of hair. Instead of the usual brownish black she always buys, today she tries something new, Mahogany.

Here's the cost of having to dye your own hair:

Cost of hair dye - $14.60

Cost of having to dye your own hair - $0

Cost of dye-ing your hair wrongly - Your JOB!!

Cost of having your son come in to the room who starts laughing non-stop once he notices that your hair is dyed wrongly - PRICELESS

Yea..The first thing I said to her was: " Hey, you look like Krusty the Clown or Cyndi Lauper!" I'm mean, yes I know that myself but it was funny, and here's how she looked(you can see me in the mirror laughing while taking the photo),

hahaha...check out the BRIGHT RED FRINGE, I had no idea my mom was such a Punk Rocker.

Cindy came over later to do scan some stuff, she and I had planned to go out today. Went first with her to OCBC to get some new notes for red packets, then headed to Thomson Plaza to get our body massage. Gosh, it was damn painful but bloody well nice after the whole thing was done. Cindy got a lady to do her back while I got this Malaysian dude. He asked me to take off my shirt and I went like....ERRR for what especially when there's nobody else who had their shirts taken off. HMMMM....but I did anyway since he said the effects would be better. When he did my back and neck, it wasn't really all that painful, more like ticklish especially when he did my shoulder blades. Next he helped do my sprained ankles, yes both of my ankles are sprained. This was the one that hurt like hell, I swear...I could've passed out there and then if didn't stop him occasionally. He used his full force rubbing my ankles and twisting them from side to side. There was even one instance where he twisted both my ankles inward at the SAME time and that was the killer blow, because of that I almost kicked his face. Yes, I know that some pressure has to be used to cure these injuries but to use that amount of force? That could've broken my foot! Gosh, anyway after the whole thing we went for lunch afterwhich we looked around the optical shops at Thomson Plaza to have me make a new pair of specs. Went into this shop called erm...First Contact Lens Centre. Saw this damn pretty girl, maybe around 18 or 19 but she was freaking tall and was damn bloody rich, she had on an Ed Hardy Trucker Cap;Burberry Watch;Coach handbag;Lacoste shoes and all in all, she was the bomb..though she was with her mom. Back to the topic...so I searched around and finally found a frame that I liked and my sister liked, pretty funky colours too..hahaha! Took a cab to town after making my new pair of specs which is to be collected tomorrow (today since it's already past 12am). Went to Wisma first, Cindy checked out Topshop and couldn't find anything, I went to Topman and got this retro red polka dotted shirt which I wanted to get last Christmas...I think Manying you would remember it..LOL! I didn't get it the last time because it was too broad for the shoulders then but now after much training..hahaha..it fits me perfectly now. Wanted to get a newspaper boy cap as well but they didn't have my size, couldn't find any nice new wallet as well all seemed so punk rockish, wanted to get a belt too but non were appealing and AMAZINGLY that shirt was all I went home with. Cindy shopped a lot, well not really a lot but she tried on a lot of stuff, esp. at Mango. I was there as her fashion advisor/clothes hanger. Happy to help her pick out some stuff that made her look different for a change, a bit of 60s and a youngish feel to the new wardrobe she and I picked out. I know for sure she's going to look great in those clothes! Dan came to meet us for dinner, we ate at Pacific Plaza then headed home. Bought apple strudel for Ritz on the way for mom. Everybody was dead tired when we came home, I'm much too tired to do any studying so here I am blogging and now I'm much too tired to blog anymore..Goodnight readers

2007-02-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with me today? I woke up really angry...for no reason...and during lecture I felt all bored and emo. Was late to meet James...like 1 hour late cause of the stupid photocopying aunty. Gosh....went with James to Raffles City Shopping Centre, intention? To get his girlfriend Charissa a gift for Valentine's day. So he got her a necklace from Perlini's and he was worried it'd be too small for her neck so he asked the lady to extend it but the extention went out of stock so we headed back to my place to play a little cards after ages. But before that we made a little detour to AMK to get more cards...gosh...it's been long since we've visited that shop too. Came home, played 2 rounds, I lost once and drew the next round and we went to watch youTube videos. He went home not long after and I was home...alone. Went to my room and lay on my bed staring into the blank ceiling, nothing in my mind. Went back to the computer not long after, started playing golden oldies and James was sending me few as well. A sudden surge of sadness filled me and for what reason I do not know why too. I started tearing..maybe the songs were the cause of it? I don't know...it's depressing to think about it anymore. Exams are around the corner and I have no mood to study. I feel like quitting school, I hate this course, but what other options do I have. So what if I scored well? I wasn't elated...not in the least bit, I would just be satisfied. My mind's a mess now...I don't know what I'm doing these days. Everyday I tell myself to quit but I can't...it's not an addiction...it's more of a habit. I do it because I'm sad..and I'm sad because I do it, what am I saying...it's such a lousy excuse. I sleep at 4 or 5 am everyday and wake up at 11 or a bit later. Life's getting more and more boring. I wonder how I can live through this any longer...but I'm not going to kill myself or anything...don't worry my readers. I'm curious to see how I'll cope with it and live on. It'll be crappy and pathetic but I'll try. If anybody is free enough...could you do me a favour by checking out the symptoms of a person who is about to go insane or schizophrenic, thanks. I'm a good kid...I'm filial to my parents and siblings, I do not lose my temper as often as I did in secondary, I try to be as accomodating as I can to all my friends but why am I still feeling so down and out, I just don't get it!

My thoughts are what fill my life,
Inside it all there is no peace.
How can one hold such strife?
Tell me so I can live my life with ease.

Yes, so I do take a puff ever and anon,
It's not as though I'm having so much pleasure.
Most of the time it's just me and me alone,
Forget my life, it's no treasure!

Some people stare and say "What a horrendous sight!"
And I go home to the mirror and look
Indeed I don't look a delight.
So then I realise it must be what I took.

Is it my fate or my will that I be so broken,
So much guilt and misery entrap my nights.
Many dark secrets I hold, but now I must be open,
For the shadows like to thee do mock my sight.

My eyelids have grown as heavy as my thoughts.
Now, I must retire to my room.
With reluctance I head to bed, afraid of dreams of all sorts.
So please pray that I won't meet my doom.

Sorry this has been such a sad and depressing post, but do not shower me with sympathy..it'll just make things worse. I feel much better letting it all out, guess I'm happier than I was just now. Goodnight or rather Goodmorning...it's now 3am and I've got to get my rest...

2007-02-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

Tiring tiring day it was today although there was no school, woke up with my whole body aching though that's not something new cause it happens almost everyday. Called my mom to the room and asked her to give me a neck rub and asked her while I was half asleep: " We should go to look for a matteress today! Let's go to IKEA now. " The plan yesterday was to go to IKEA today but I had no idea why I was in such a rush, maybe I was just sleepy. Woke up at around 2.30pm...had my "Brunch" which was Kellogg's Frosties and Waffles. Watched "Street Fighter Alpha The Animated Movie" on AXN while eating my brunch, review of the cartoon? It was P-P-P-POWERRRR! Got ready at 4 to go to IKEA with my mom afterwhich we walked to the Yishun interchange to take 855. Bus ride was damn bloody long, I swear I could've gone to JB within the same time maybe even faster. Walking into IKEA, me and my mom got this whiff of some foul smell which my mom said smelt like PISS WATER and for no reason she cursed the person who pissed somewhere around, and as to where he did it or if someone even really pissed, I do not know anything. Then in IKEA, we went to look for a new study desk, swivel chair, shoe rack, matteress, coat hangers, and more storage space, all for my room. What we did end up buying was everything on the list including some unnecessary stuff(e.g. Alarm Clock for my room) except the study desk because we forgot the measurements. Took a cab back where this uncle who was driving it didn't know where Yishun Street 11 was! I had to guide him...gosh! Reached home and spent another 2 hours fixing up everything I bought for my room and shifted it all in. I have to say, the look I've always wanted for my room is becoming reality, just the desk and the dressing table that's out of place and I need a new TV!

Ok, so I promised to give a review of all the movies I rented and here's the first

Addicted to Love: **** upon 5

My Opinion: Sam's(Matthew Broderick) broken hearted over his girlfriend dumping him, and he (litteraly) has a run in with Maggie(Meg Ryan) who also has been dumped and what do you know? Their respective others are dating each other. They team together so Maggie can get revenge and Sam can get his girlfriend back. Though the end is totally predictable, it's still fun yet dark and damn hilarious. I'd reccommend this if you like black comedies.

Alright, that's all for today...I gotta go get myself a bowl of Bird's nest soup which my mom was brewing the whole day..till next time...goodbye readers!

2007-02-05T21:01:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh...I am so glad that my stupid Java project is over. Though I know I won't score great marks but I thought my group could at least pass the project with what we presented today. Though I don't know about David, he was presenting something that was not supposed to be presented, examiner also kept bombing him with questions that he couldn't answer. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER LEARN TO BE A FREE RIDER FOR PROJECTS! Soon after the presentation was over I slept in the lab waiting for Sebas to finish his own presentation, yes that was how tired I was. Woke up with a fever and so I took a cab back. On the way I borrowed a few VCDs and DVDs, though coincidently they all stared Meg Ryan and the genre of all the movies were Romantic Comedys, I just realised this after reaching home. Before I could watch any of them I went to my room to sleep again, this was my longest nap ever from 12PM - 8PM and that's like 8 hours!?!? But people....take into account that I've only slept for a total 21 hours the past 5 days. Woke up and my mom made wonderful pasta with cream of mushroom soup but this new brand of instant soup she bought tasted like vomit juice when I drank it, my mom agreed too. No school tomorrow so I'm going with my mom to IKEA to get some stuff for my room.

Alright...want to know the list of the movies I rented? Well, here it is:

Don't ask me why I rented these movies but what I can tell you is that I'll give the reviews after I've finished watching em'...Let's see...Alright I'm gonna start with " Addicted to Love".

This is yet another worthless post by Rick and till next time, goodbye readers!

2007-01-28T01:16:00.000+08:00

Dreary,
Beaten,
Sent into a daze.
Stars whisk me towards a blaze.

Clueless,
Pointless,
Lost in bliss.
I'm slipping away straight into the abyss.

Stressed,
Depressed,
So much of emotion.
Much like that of a Hollywood connotation

I see not my future,
I see not my past,
Only my present
That's spining so fast.

Buzzing thoughts of death ever so near.
What is dejection when death is not to fear?
I hope to move on and forget everything,
But what can I do if I can't even get over the smallest of things!

2007-01-26T00:30:00.000+08:00

Nominees for Best Fight Sequence

The starting where they look at each other and how that ass clown licks his blade already shows how gay the fight is gonna be. Then fight zooms in to the 2 guys exchanging blows and how their saliva is spouting out all over. The 2 then rip their shirts apart because of small holes in their attire and they start whacking each other relentlessly and the best part of all, they're not even blocking each other's attacks! There's this next part where the good guy then grabs the bad guy's face which is so dumb and this girl who has a broken arm comes along swings a towel like it's such a damn powerful weapon and uses it to pull the bad guy's knife away. Funny part comes after his left eye gets stabbed by a nail in the wall and he starts screaming for a damn long time. Next funny scene is when the bad guy fights with the girl, there will be times where he stops...waits for her to attack him and after receiving her blows he just groans louder and louder, think this is around 2:32-2:39, also look out for the girl doing a backflip with a broken arm. Next up, they continue fight until the bad guy falls onto a crane and stabs his OTHER eye this time. The good guy pulls the lever for the crane and the bad guy dangles in the air from his eye which is freaking disgusting. Cheesiest lines come up next..girl says: " I'll keep an EYE out for you...STINGRAY ", guy then says: " YEAH...SEE YOU" with the most retarded expression on his face.

This is from a Hindhi movie. Just retarded lines and pathetic punches and sound effects.

This is a classic, whole thing is just hilarious...too much to comment so I won't say anything just watch and enjoy.

2007-01-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

I know I'm not supposed to be here posting anything but this week just has been too stressful. 3 projects plus french dialog next week.

Here is the status of those 4 tasks I have at hand:

Principles of Management
Due date: 29 January
- Completed the interview and found the 2 articles, all that is left to do is to link the interview back to theory work and complete the ppt.

Economics
Due date: 21 January
- Arguably the most stressful project I've done my whole life thus far. Found most of the data, finished analysis today, have not started on qn2 though we've only decided what business we're going to do. Team is also a bit disoriented? Is that the proper word...sigh...I don't know

Java
Due date: 30 January
- Tough to do project but lecturer is kind enough to lend us each a helping hand so if we happen to get stuck anywhere, he'll be there to help us whenever he can. Basically completed like 50% of the project and with the additional helping hand next week we're getting, we should be able to complete another 20% at least.

Parental Advisory: This Post May Contain Explicit and Vulgar language
Ok, here's what happened today. I woke up with a splitting headache...wondered for a while whether I should attend school. But the thought of not going for project discussion just wouldn't leave my mind and my group wouldn't have completed anything if I had not been there today. Went to meet my grp members at 2pm..ok 2.16pm, I was late. Reached there and I was stunned to see another group in the project room. OKAY...nevermind. Then I saw my GROUP MEMBER, sitting and discussing with them, so I thought to myself what the fuck is he doing over there instead of coming to discuss the itenary for today's project meeting? E later told me that he was doing the management project, upon hearing this my whole mood just changed. Why the fuck is he doing some other project which is due the week after next and not doing the one that's due this weekend!?!? Gosh..freaking frustrated with this guy. He's also damn fucking self-conceited, thinks he is damn bloody big and same goes for his eldest sis who scolded me for no reason when I was in his group the last time. I was analysing all the data today plus reading pages after pages of information and searching every possible website for things we could use. Ok...so another group member of mine, Jotham came very late but I understand he's like that and I've done all my projects with him so far so I know his capacity and what he's able to do and not do and I've got no prob with him in the least bit. He asked "that self-conceited" guy what needs to be done and that ass told Jotham go ask someone else cause he's wasn't doing, Jotham then asked whether Econs project was done already and that ass said no but he completed his part already. What fucking part did he do? Go to one bloody website and download a file which I read and analysed while he was doing his own bloody management project!?!? I almost felt like going there and slapping him in the face...but nvm...don't want to be in court being sued for assault and coming out in the newspaper since he KNOWS so many reporters and big shits. Finished doing everything only at around 7 plus reached home at 8.30pm...super tired...gosh...

This is officially my most vulgar posting ever...please mind my language...peace out...my mind is appeased...

2007-01-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

Today's post will be my last post until the 1st of March. As to why, the picture below will explain everything.

My Semestral Exam Timetable

Yes, my exams are coming so in order for my resolution to get a GPA or 3.0 and above, I have to start studying from Wednesday onwards.

As for today, well everything went according to usual..normal classes then tennis. Here's an advice for people playing tennis: Wear tennis shoes and not running shoes when you are going to play tennis, only idiots like me wear running shoes and play. Consequence: I slipped...did a split...and stretched my knee which was already hurt and aggravated the sprain in my left foot. Yes, sounds very painful...it is...and now my ankle is swelled up like a ball again just when it looked alright this morning.

Walking back home was the worst part of today especially. I walked the usual way from Yishun MRT to get back home only today there was a dead rat on the pathway which looked totally disgusting with maggots and stuff all feasting on its corpse. Then when I got into the lift and the door was closing, this chinese man ran to the lift asking me to hold the lift and I quickly pressed the door open button. And fook!!! when the doors opened that man just wasn't there anymore!! Where the hell did he go to!?!? Sheeesh..my heart started racing as I went up in the lift...freaky shit man. Gosh...no one was at home as well when I got back. But they were all back in like 10 mins or so.

Sigh..today is the last day I will be going online, blogging and the only thing I will do is reply messages from my tag board. So if there's anything you want to ask me or tell me just tag. Alright...it's a sad sign off today...buaizzzzzzzzzz

2007-01-11T00:42:00.000+08:00

Today started off quite badly and ended off just as bad or probably even worse. I was supposed to meet Jun Kai at 9.45am today cause we intended to go for the lecture. I woke up at 9am and msged Jun Kai straight away that I'll be late to meet him. Then he replied ok just hurry. So I did and I left the house at 9.40am and reached Yio Chu Kang at 10am. I tried calling him before I left the house to ask where he was but he didn't pick up so I decided to try calling when I reached. And when I did that....he was still home and told me he just finished bathing!!! OK..nvm...luckily I had my songs to keep me company while waiting(waited approx. 30mins). Went to class as usual nothing much...did project after class ended and didn't really achieve much. Football was at 6pm later in the evening with Jun Kai and the gang, Khairul, my bro from secondary school also came to play. Started of the matches pretty quickly cause we only had the court for 2 hours, and playing football after like 6 months is not cool at all, I lost my reading of the game, marking and dribbling was awful. I was just playing shitty today and what's worse is that left knee pain attacked me AGAIN!!! Couldn't bend or run about comfortably...then I sprained my left ankle which healed from a sprain...GOSH. Jun Kai unintentionally tackled me and I fell on my left ankle which then later led to my team conceding A LOT of goals. I got too serious and started playing very roughly trying to win back possession everytime my team lost it and almost made a small malay boy fall. Yeah...my bad, and Jun Kai scolded me whereas others asked me to relax a bit...lol...too enthu about winning I guess...hahaha. There's a statistics test tomorrow and I haven't touched my book. It's going to be another flunked test for me I guess...gosh...Studying sucks.

It's 1am already, got to wake up at 7am to read a bit a least so I had better stop here...sigh...life's been so stale since the end of the holidays.

2007-01-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

Let me start of this post from last Friday. Dad, Mom and Michele(my 2nd eldest sis) were off to Ho Chi Minh City for a holiday. I couldn't join them because I had SCHOOL...though I wouldn't really fancy going there. Went to school as per normal and except that I played tennis with Spenser, Nicholas, Zhen Yan and his friend. Played quite shitty when I started but got more consistent as I played. Daniel(my bro-in-law) came to pick me up cause I was going over to stay at Cindy's place. Can't remember if I had dinner but I do remember the dude needed to buy his and Cin's dinner. So he dropped me home to pack my stuff and he went back to his home to have dinner. My bag weighed like freaking 10KG when I finished packing, gosh...it almost looked as if I was running away from home or something. Had my laptop and PS2 plus school books and clothes for the weekend. When I reached...I hooked up the PS2 and the dude and I started playing "Winning Eleven". Got thrashed bad by Newcastle Utd in the game like 8-3...gosh...we played our worst ever football in our "Winning Eleven" careers I think. We got so tired of drawing matches and losing that we just decided to switch the game off and go to sleep. Woke up Saturday morning for breakfast and the dude bought Meepok back for everyone. Damn it was good shit...according to the dude it was from one of the best stalls in S'pore...I believe him. After that the dude wanted to play his career mode for "Need for Speed:Carbon". He played so long that I fell asleep watching him play...and when I woke up he was almost near completion of the game!! Gosh..but he got tired of it as well and we played " Winning Eleven"...again. This time WE were the ones thrashing other teams and we broke our jinx run against Newcastle...WE DID IT and won 4-0. 8pm in the evening...we had to go meet Cindy for dinner. Met her at Newton Hawker where it was gluttons' paradise...all the best food over there. We had stingray, mutton soup, Mee Reebus, BBQ Chicken Wings...and BEER...Yes, though I only had 1 mug. I finished up the food because I was UBER hungry and the food was just too good to resist. After dinner we went to Brauhaus for some drinks with the dude's colleagues. Had an apple beer which was pretty nice I have to say. Played pool with the dude and lost BADLY...YES I dislike pool...lost to Cindy twice!! The best part about losing to my sis twice was that most of the time I was telling her the angles of where to hit the balls at. This shows I can become a coach but never a player. Went home tired and everybody plonked on their beds and me...on the couch. Woke up the next Sunday morning to a wonderful breakfast of waffles with honey, butter and strawberrys..SHIOKS. Watched cartoon till the afternoon with my sister until the weather turned so gloomy that I fell asleep again. Woke up and saw the dude playing PS2 and asked him to switch to "Winning Eleven" and thus we started playing again...though this time round we lost and won equally...it's not really all exciting when we've been playing the same game for so long. Dinner was pizza and Sunday Blockbuster on 5.."Catch Me If You Can". Great show...even after watching it 4 times already. Dan went to do some work after the movie and Cin as well so I did my management principles homework too. Can't believe I slept only at 1.30am staying up to watch Channel U's ZHONG YI DA GE DA. Lame ass crap I have to say but it helped me get to sleep.

Monday today is not such a good day. Went to school with a major stomach ache, did badly for some of my tests and realise that I might actually repeat all my modules if I don't buck up. Tennis training didn't go so well...I almost felt like smashing my racquet on the floor to let it break but I didn't. Vomited after the physical which was totally embarassing especially in front of all the guys. My right foot cramped while walking up the stairs going home and my left knee injury is now worse than ever...I don't even need to bend it now to feel the sting. Java test tomorrow and here I am still bloggin...Oh what the hell..I wouldn't understand anything even if I did study...so what's the point if I know I'm bound to flunk the test.

Here's an advice for people who start to feel emo. Have Red Wine with Black Chocolates...cures everything! I mean it...that's what I'm doing now so goodbye and goodnight!!!!!

2007-01-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day of the holidays, everybody must be feeling reluctant and sad to return back to school. I know I am. This holiday period was filled with so much fun and entertainment for me, one of the best and if not...the best holidays I have ever had in a long long time. Christmas was great but the New Year was even better, lots of laughter and fun. Me, Andrew, Kane and his girlfriend Xinyi and 2 other girls. Met them at 10.30pm and left with them at 7am, my first time staying out so late and also the first time I spent New Year out with my friends. 4 people to thank for this holiday period and giving me such a great end to 2006. First person or rather people, would have to be my family, my sisters and brother-in-laws together with my parents. Second goes to the Geow family (Kane's family)for letting me go over whenever I felt bored or simply felt like going there, had so much fun always especially if Jon was around. 3rd would have to be James, calling me up and talking cock non stop whether online or on the phone it was all the same, also enjoyed going to the movies with him and watchin MadTv Vids on Youtube. 4th? hahaha...it's the mistress of laughter for chatting with in the late nights from like erm...11pm - 2am, no idea if she was keeping me company or vice versa but it was always fun chatting with her and I mean ALWAYS. So thank you all for entertaining me for it's been such a wonderful time. It almost sounds as though I'm gonna cry but yeah...I did wish for it all not to end but sadly it has to. Exams start next month so I don't think I'll be blogging much until probably exams have ended.

New Year Resolutions

1: Get my place for singles in the school team
2: Get a GPA of 3.0 or higher
3: Become less lazy
4: Hopefully...I can...Nevermind

Ok, class starts at 11am for me tomorrow and hopefully this friday, my dad decides NOT to go to Guangzhou and instead use the $$$$ to do up the house.

CIAO....

2006-12-28T01:55:00.000+08:00

Woke up not feeling too well today...so I did not go for project discussion. Luckily they called me later on to say that I didnt need to come down anymore because the school's internet was down. Well, so was mine when I woke up to use it, thought it was my computer's problem and to think I got so frustrated. So with nothing to do and nowhere to go, I dedcided maybe I should go see Aunty Jane today since I haven't visited her in such a long time. Went over there and just before I reached her block, it started the pour...again. Went over there...we had a lot to talk as usual. Watched Adel play audition (online version of PARA PARA!!), gosh...I reall have no idea what is so fun about making a character dance and level up...hahaha...she'll kill me if she sees this post. Adel tried to switch on the tele but it gave me and Aunty Jane the shock of our lives...we almost thought the tele was about to explode. Serious...it was scary, the tele was like giving us a warning...DONT SWITCH ME ON OR I'LL KAMIKAZE HERE!! SO Adel was complaining of no tele to watch even though there's another in the room, and then Aunty Jane decided to go look for a tele at Harvey Norman Northpoint. Just as we were about to leave the house, it rained again! And much much heavier this time round...though it lasted for like 15 mins only. Kane and Jon also came back from their first day of work at the new place. Kane went to eat dinner with his girlfriend and Jon tagged along with me, Aunty Jane and the 2 girls. First we went to have dinner at 925, chicken rice there is one of the best in Yishun I can say. Then this old lady selling tissue came along...F.Y.I this old lady once quarraled with Uncle Alan...hahaha. She saw us and gave this hard stare...deciding whether or not to sell tissue to us. She came along anyway and gave the most FAKE of all smiles and asked us if we wanted to buy tissue. Mind you....she's not all that poor...she has a handphone according to Jon. After we finished eating, she came back with the same intention, only this time she asked me only. I refused her politely because I didn't need the tissue and she gave me this EVIL STARE...like those I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR NOT BUYING MY TISSUES kinda stare...very scary. Adel saw it and burst into laughter after she left, I was just puzzled. So we then went to Harvey Norman to get a tele and managed to get one. Sales-guy kept pushin Aunty Jane to buy Plasma TV...damn funny...she was being dragged here and there even though her mind was made up already on which tele to buy. Then went to Bengawan Solo to get Jon pandan cake and guess who I saw...MANYING!! gosh...I don't know why but I just wanted to hide..lol..but she still saw me. Again she bothered me about the debt again...hahaha. IT'S ALRIGHT...my gosh. Then she left...though I said she looked short in her uniform...I didn't actually mean that...I meant...err nevermind..hahaha. Then went back to Aunty Jane's place, gossiped more and talked a lot of nonsense especially with Jon around this time. I left there at 9 plus...reached home...ok...that's all i guess for today...chow

2006-12-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

Hark! The herald angels sing...Glory to the new-born King! Yes...it's Christmas Day everybody and just a few days away as well from the New Year. Celebrations I had were on Christmas Eve, much less nothing to do today I believe. A feast for dinner, with dishes cooked by everyone. Shepherd's pie was great, so were the sausages and chicken marinate. Just as everyone was stuffed after dinner, dessert proved to be a winner. Häagen-Dazs ice cream with brownies along with wine and beer that made Daniel tipsy he almost slept like a dear. Around the couch we sit, watching "Love Actually" we did. Waiting for the clock to strike 12 and once it did we all wished and hugged each other saying MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! First to open her gifts as usual, Cindy, my eldest sister was eager to see what she got. Michele went next then me followed by the other "boys". I got 2 watches, one antique and the other a swatch, a new tennis outfit and some tees my sis bought. So we posed around the Christmas Tree made of lights, flashing every present we had in sight. Presents I loved but not as much as the mood of family gathering, that's all I need. Picture will be posted another day to show how fantastic is was yesterday!

Went for mass at 10 today, should've recorded what the brother had to say. The spirit of giving is about sacrifice he pointed out. Jesus was born in a slump, God wanted the poor and sick to know he has come. Comtemplated about his sermon I did yet when I reached home I forgot all about it. Celebrated my mom's birthday in the afternoon with a cake made of brandy and rum. Again we all sat to watch some TV, so boring the shows that we fell asleep so easily. Woke up at 11pm and here I am, my it's Boxing Day already! This festive season I've loved, I've laughed and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing. And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. To think if I had the chance. And may I say...not in a shy way that I...Je vous ai donné mon coeur inutile et je veux être avec vous si mauvais...sigh

2006-12-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Two thousand years have already gone by.
Since Jesus was nailed on a cross to die.
His teachings were done by words and deed,
Thousands would listen, and thousands would heed.

Christmas was a time of little time.
Racing madly mall-to-mall, we climb.
Shopping, cooking, clearing walks and yards,
Making phone calls, wrapping and writing cards.

People kissing under a mistletoe,
Is that true or is it just a show?
Everyone smiling, except one who had a tear.
This special day that only happens once a year.

However drunk or sober he may be,
He still loves that only one, who is she?
And everynight before he sleeps,
He takes out her photo and starts to weep.

When will he ever come to see,
That this will never come to be...

2006-12-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

Bloggin today because I was too tired to blog yesterday. So treat this as yesterday's post. Went out with Manying yesterday. Brilliant planning by us though. Arranging to meet at somerset first but later changed to orchard station. But orchard station where?? We both never knew...hahaha. I called her and she said she was near DBS so I headed there and then I called her again. She couldn't understand what I was saying on the phone and neither could I understand what she was saying, either she was whispering into the phone or that I'm practically deaf...lol. She then asked what colour shirt I was wearing and before I could even finish saying red I saw her walking towards me and she was also wearing RED! Gosh...that was hilarious. Shen then started getting worried that we would look like a couple and stuff. Before leaving for wheelock to sakae sushi for lunch, we were approached by this talent agency which I know is definitely a money scamming agency instead. Manying agreed to give her contact and all so the guy kept persuading me to join since she had already agreed. Don't know why I couldn't come up with a fake number at that moment to give them so I gave them my real contact number so willingly!! RAH...they even called me up this morning to ask me down for an interview which I am not in the least interested in. Then we reached sakae sushi, and while waiting for a table, she kept worrying about us looking like a couple...gosh...never in my whole life have I seen anyone so worried about such a thing...hahaha. So we finally got a table, whole time through lunch both of us kept laughin at the littlest of things, actually she was the one who seemed over excessively happy, but that's her I guess..lol. Then we started off shopping at Wisma, then to Taka and to Paragon and finally heeren where we didnt even walk into anyshop...haha. Only shopped at Ben Sherman Paragon, I seriously like the stuff over there. Then I suggested a place to sit down and chill for a while so that Manying's feet, which were blistering up from her heels, could take a rest. She then asked me where else do I want to shop and hmm...basically there was nothing left in town already so I suggested why not go watch a movie at Vivo City. She was all for it since it was quite her home too, just a few stations away by the North East Line. So we went there walking around doing nothing, or at least I was the one doing nothing, she was really window shopping, looking at stuff inside the shop through the windows...hahaha. So we went to buy tickets for the movie "Deja Vu" in the first place and only after buying did Manying tell me how bad the seats were. And crap, now you're telling me I have to watch a movie that's mentally and physically challenging, no way!! hahahaha...so I went back and changed the tickets for " The Holiday" a romantic christmas story starring Cameron Diaz(uber hot chick even though she's aging), Kate Winslet, Jack Black and the biggest playboy in London, Jude Law. Wonderful movie to watch...one of the very few romantic movies that I actually sat through awake. So those of you who haven't watched it..GO WATCH IT!!! Then after the movie, we decided to go have dinner. Suddenly she grabbed my arm which totally shocked me and said quietly she has no more money. LOL...wahahaha...I had extra cash on me so what the heck, I couldnt let her starve nor could I starve myself. So I took her to swensens to eat. They kept bugging us with the last order thingy and half the staff there were PILIPINOS...hahaha. I so wanted to tell Manying about the PILIPINO joke but I was afraid they would kick me out if they heard it. YES...it is a pretty mean joke to tell. Now instead of the issue of looking like a couple, she kept talking about being indebted to me cause of this dinner. Wahaha...so I told her once the pig head is hung a her doorstep, it means it's time to pay me back...don't really know if she heard it but...what the heck.

LOL...all in all, it was a very fun day, one of the few which I really had a great time and didnt get bored, also people usually don't laugh at my corny jokes but manying did...all the way...haha thanks for that and also thanks for helping me get out of my depression!! wahahaha...

Dang...this must be my longest post ever...amazing...I never knew I had it in me to tell a story. Maybe I could start my autobiography...gosh I'm becoming more lame each day.

It's been a rainy week Singapore, so stay indoors. This was Rick Hilary Goh presenting to you YESTERDAY's news. Thank you for reading and good night!

2006-12-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

gosh...boring day today. Woke up and it was raining. Mom and dad went off to JB without me, how could they do that to their own son. Then almost forgot today was a Monday and that there was tennis training as usual. Weather didn't look in the least good but I was hoping for it to stop by 5 at least. It did stop at around 4 but it rained again at 5!! And cont' for the rest of the day. So I stayed at home, staring into the computer screen, talking to the walls. I got so bored I called James out for a movie. Wanted to go watch the sneak for "Night at the Museum", had it all planned for the 6.15pm show but only came to realise it was a sneak for WEDNESDAY...not today. How the hell did I not see the date...that's what happens when words on signboards start appearing like barcodes and chinese words start looking like sanskrit (i'm refering to my eyesight in case you didnt get it)...so we ended up watchin "Eragon" or James would prefer to call it "Erec*-on"...yes...sick bugger I know. We kept spoofing the movie...as usual. Took 859 back home with him, though my home was just 2 stops away, but it was raining so heavily for pete's sake, I couldn't have possibly walked home without an umbrella...though I could've borrowed his since he didn't need it...gosh why didn't I think of that. Anyway....finished doing up my christmas tree, doesn't look too bare nor does it look too overdone...perfect colour scheme this year, RED and Gold...

My Christmas tree before....

My Christmas tree after my hard work...not as pretty as those in the shopping centres but it'll do for me...lol

2006-12-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

Dang...havent blogged for a week already though so much has happened. Term 1 of Sem 2 is over and the holidays are here. Everybody's preparing for christmas I guess..buying presents and other stuff. ME? Haven't bought any presents yet nor have I got my christmas clothes. Went out these 2 days but the trips weren't fruitful, firstly, all the presents I wanted to buy for everyone were either too expensive or that I couldn't find anything suitable. Next, I went looking for my christmas clothes and could find nothing thought the Ben Sherman Shirts looked uber cool, would probably go back and get them this wednesday when I go out. Arghh...gotta thank parkmanyinho for helping me plan my big day so THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I owe you a big christmas gift or a huge treat. That's all I gotta say now, hopefully tomorrow will go much better, heading to JB to get christmas tree decors cause IT'S CHEAPER OVER THERE!! And maybe my christmas clothes though I'm not really enthusiastic on getting anything there.

2006-12-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me

what would you do

If I told you you were beautiful
Would you page me on the regular

tell me would you

Well baby I've been around the world
But I aint seen myself another girl

like you

This ring here represents my heart
But there is just one thing I need from you

saying I do

Because, I can see us holding hands
walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us in the country side
sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Gonna make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot

My love
My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot

My love
My loooooooove
Looooooove
My loooove
My loooove

Now If I wrote you a love note
And make you smile with every word I wrote

what would you do

Would that make you wanna change your scene
And wanna be the one in my scene

tell me would you

See what's the point in waiting anymore
Cause girl I've never been more sure

that baby it's you

This ring here represents my heart
And everything that you been waiting for

Just saying I do

Because, I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us in the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Gonna make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Aint gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot my

My love
My love
My love

And I know no woman that could take your spot my

My love
My looooooove
Loooooove
My looooove
My loooooove

2006-12-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

YES...tests have finally ended...can concentrate on tennis training for the time being now...found out trials will start in APRIL..crap...just a few months away!! Anyway...finally got Mich's birthday pics already from Cindy already...in case those reading dont know who they are...both of them are my sisters...here are a few of the better photos:

That's an uber lot of pics eh? well well well...everyone had a great time...

2006-12-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

Gosh...today too many things happened. It's too much for me to take in a day maybe that's why I'm feeling so down. First was my 2 ICAs, French Elective and Management Principles. French went ok though my stupid French tutor had this mindset that I was cheating during the test...please...just go ahead ask me to do another paper and I'll glady pass it with flying colours for her to see. Then was Management Principles, for some reason I just couldn't recall what I studied the night before...MY GOSH, I've never felt to irritated and restless in a test my whole life except for this one. Don't think I'll do well for this sem...really hard. And after that the weather looked so fine for tennis training. Went for a run first before training, everything seemed fine until coach asked me to do drills. Once I bent that stupid left knee AND ankle of mine which hasn't healed for the longest of times, I felt such a terrible sting in my whole left leg that I couldn't even focus on where I was hitting the ball. I was hitting so bad coach even lectured me, telling me to look at the ball and visualize the target...I tried my best but the pain was overwhelming though I put up with it and thought maybe it'll go away after a while. BUT NO...everytime I bent to hit a backhand or a forehand...I felt as if I was going to collapse any moment. Gosh...I think I'm gonna go get a X-ray done to see if the joint is twisted or if it's anything serious(TOUCH WOOD!!!), sad....because of this I can't do my NAPFA test this coming WEDNESDAY, have no idea what I'm gonna tell my Course Coordinator too, hopefully I'll get a MC or something to substantiate my cause for skipping NAPFA.

2006-12-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

hahaha...The Dangerous Lives of the E3 boys has finally come alive. From 1 Dec '06 onwards, be sure to check out youtube for more idiotic videos that have been contributed by the former 4E3 boys of Canberra. Had super lot of fun at Vivo City yest...the most I've ever had at a shopping complex. Also the first time I spent $17.60 on a fastfood meal but it was well worth the money. And though we didnt manage to watch "CASINO ROYALE" due to something unfortunate, we did go to Toy 'R' Us. Now imagine what can 3 boys who have never visited Toys 'R' Us in over 10 yrs go there and do...here's a video to show you how retarded we can be, well...there's a child in everyone right? LOL....

Tomorrow's my Father's 57th birthday, haven't got him anything for the first time gosh I feel so unfilial...what a lousy son I must be....just hope he'll appreciate the small celebration tomorrow night in our house.

2006-11-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

Behind hidden screams no one can hear
The pain of my heart's tear
I'm with you in the shadows
Longing for you but nobody knows

How my heart is breaking
Looking at your picture aching
Where did you go?
I miss you so

Is there someone else already?
Please tell me cause I'm scared my lady
I only want to be by your side
Even if I have to break the rules I abide

I sit alone waiting for your answer
Hoping it would not bring me displeasure
If I'm left here without you
I'll need to figure out how to get through

No one knows my pain
How I hide my tears and cry amongst the rain
I scream to you when the thunder rolls
So only the sky sees my hurt that shows

2006-11-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

Gemini's Personality

Gemini is the third Sign of the Zodiac, and those born under this Sign will be quick to tell you so. That's because they love to talk! It's not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!

Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are well represented by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless. They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this Sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway?

Ruled as they are by the Planet Mercury, Geminis exhibit a delicious brand of mercurial energy. They are quick-thinking, quick-witted and fast on their feet, much like the messenger god of Roman mythology that rules their Sign. Geminis are both curious and clever, which is why they are such a hit at cocktail parties. Although they talk a great game, they also love to listen and learn. With any kind of luck, the Twins will find themselves in interesting company, because if they don't, they are likely to get bored and start fidgeting. Any social setting is a good one for a Gemini, however, since these folks are charming, congenial and love to share themselves with their friends. While their effusiveness may be misconstrued as scheming by some, Geminis generally have their hearts in the right place. It's that ample energy which can also paint them as scatterbrained and unfocused, but behind all that zipping around, the Twins are busily filing all that good data away.

The Element associated with Gemini is Air. Air Signs are the thinking person's Sign, and the Twins don't disappoint. Those born under this Sign prize intellect and consider it the key to all things. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team, and while these folks are not inclined to take the lead, they are a most valuable component. It's also the Gemini's literary bent which allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them lift the spirits of those around them. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips--and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat. Is all of this Twin-energy more than any one person can handle? Ah, maybe that's why they are two.

When it comes to sports, Geminis would seem a natural for doubles tennis--and they are. They love the camaraderie of games and play, which is why they excel at team events. Whether it's volleyball or a game of Charades, Geminis are always ready to play. A book club would certainly stimulate their literary minds. In the game of love, Geminis are playful, flirtatious and endless fun. Physically speaking, Gemini rules the nervous system, which is why Twins should practice yoga or deep breathing techniques. Layering themselves in soft yellows and blues will also calm their mood.

The great strength of the Gemini-born is in their ability to communicate effectively and to think clearly. Adventures of the mind are what the Twins are all about. They also love to share themselves with their friends, and they make for charming companions.

2006-11-25T01:10:00.000+08:00

I'll Cut off Your Penis and Balls...Obscene but quite funny...watch out for Bobby Lee

2006-11-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

What A wonderful day today was...finished my OOPJV project..though we had problems handing it up. Then after that...met James and Luq to go shop for a pair of shoes for James...bloody bugger brought only $30...LOL. Walked around in circles at Far East for pair that was nice and he could afford. Unfortunately there were none. Ended up me and Luq had to lend him $10 bucks each so he could buy a pair of converse shoes. First at the Converse in Far East we found 2 pairs, one which looked like bruce lee's trainers and the other, a normal striking typical converse shoe..didnt really look that cina beng too. He preferred the normal pair rather than the bruce lee trainers but they didn't have size 9 so we went to J8 at Bishan...the converse there too didnt have his size...so we tried a 10 and it was uber big, looked like Ronald McDonald's feet when James tried them on so we took our chance and asked for a size 8 and it fit perfectly when he tried them on, what a wonder. This is the pair he bought;

yep...50 bucks for that pair...and later on we went to subway to eat and my my...James spent all his money...LMAO...Me and Luq bought a foot long each and we tore it into 8 parts and split it 3-3-2 among the 3 of us, James took the smallest share. Then both of them came back to my place for a little VS and obviously James won everything except the Triple Threat which Luqman won. Yeah...that's pretty much what happened...looking forward to the Adidas Sale which I'm going to later on in the day. Check out..........

2006-11-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

Please do not pay attention to the previous post...it was just a poem with no real meaning in it...i have not slit myself or anything and i'm not so stupid as to do so...so everybody please do not panic. Alright...here's what happened today...Yesterday , Sunday November the 19th, it was my sister's, Michele, birthday. Went to a real hard to find place to have dinner. It was somewhere at Seletar, deep into some place where the old Singapore Flying Club was. It was called Sunset Bay I think...not very sure..was pretty tired already then. Real romantic place to bring either a girlfriend or a wife for anniversary though the mosquitoes may spoil the mood and yes...not forgetting Singapore's unpredictable weather which happened to spoil the ambience when we were about to cut the birthday cake. Wonderful western food there...simply yummylicious. Pork Ribs, Lamb chop, Spicy Chicken wings, Mouth watering breaded prawns...gosh...I'm simply craving to go there once more. Cindy took quite a number of photos...will post them soon once she mails them to me. Had a Almond Carrot cake from Cedele which was terrific though I couldnt even finish one piece because I was already stuffed by the food served earlier. What made the party exciting was the Indian-Chinese couple that sat behind us in the restaurant. MY MY...I did not know Singapore was such a liberated country. They were practically all over each other and the indian dude kept whispering stuff as though he was some romeo. What made it worse was his magnificent "grass field" on his face, wonder how the girl could stand it...the roughness just brushing against her face...eeeeewww...just thinking of it makes me wanna puke. Then today went for class as per usual but today was the first day I was suppose to train with the school team!! And guess what...I didn't, because of the darn rain...felt so sad afterwards I staggered back home. Next week...I will give my all and make it to the competition team!!! That is my dream...

2006-11-20T23:20:00.001+08:00

I'm carving on my wrist
Writing on my arm
Painting my nails black
Causing myself harm

My wounds are self inflicted
My past I try to hide
My future's burned to pieces
To rules I don't abide

My life I hold without care
To health I don't mind
When I see people dressed in black
People yell out "He's of our kind!'

I walk with arms crossed
Feet dragging on the ground
Black sleeves hiding my scars
Hiding the truth I've found

I'm angsty and I'm sad
And I'm angry lots of the time
But I still carry on
As I write my rhymes

People keep staring at me
As I lean against this wall
But when I look up
No one helps me up from my fall

So I glare at them
And return to my work
Hey guess what I'm an emo
And who knows where my spirit will lurk

2006-11-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

Gosh...I'm feeling really worn out now...Whole body is aching...even internally. In the morning went for some soccer tourney initially but then left early not because we were kicked out or anything but because we didnt want to wait cause the next match was like 4 hours away. So I went for tennis, soon as I reached coach asked me whether I wanted to train this Monday with the school team..and of course I wanted to...so yeah...I'm quite elated. Then went with James to have lunch...bugger was emo for no reason but was ok after a while. Then we both got our hair cut at the salon below my block. Went joggin after that and did some intensive workouts. Watched a few videos on youtube and he went home after that...sorry can't blog much cause I'm really super duper tired. This night, Ms.Chelsea made fun of me the whole time we were chatting...lol...coundn't stand her but it was funny...hahahaha...my jaws hurt so much everytime I chat with her cause I keep on laughing. Alright...really gotta go off...I need to visit the royal throne as well...sign out